Chapter 44

“But……..” As all Jon could spit out, his eyes flicking instantly to Kadie, jumping to the very wrong conclusion, his instant reaction that Richie had been wrong, that she’d told him.

Fortunately, though, before he could say anything else, Richie spoke.

“Billie’s awake.” He said firmly, and Kadie nodded at him, wide-eyed with worry as she looked at Jon’s shocked face.

Please, please let him have the sense to say nothing about me knowing. Please don’t let him destroy what Jay and I have started.

“She’s awake?” Jon echoed, and Jay practically snarled at him.

“What? So now you care?”

“Jay.” Kadie said softly from behind him, but he shook his head angrily, advancing on Jon.

“Well?!”

“Well what?” Jon’s mind was reeling. Sure, since he and Billie had reached their agreement to tell their respective families - and their mutual ‘family’ - about Jay, he’d often mused about hearing his eldest son call him ‘dad’, but he’d never imagined hearing it with the utter venom Jay had used.

“Well what?” Jay repeated, his fists clenching angrily. At first he’d been mad at his mom, and he still was, partly, but she wasn’t here - Jon was - so he made a far better target for the anger. “How many other bastard children do you have, boss? How many other groupies did you knock up, back in the day?”

“It wasn’t like that!” Jon protested, unconsciously echoing Billie’s own words. “She…..your mom and I……it was special.” He finished lamely, knowing he deserved the derisive snort from Jay.

“Special? Why? Because she was extra-good, or because she was dumb enough to not insist on protection?”

“That’s not fucking fair, and you know it!” Jon snapped, his own temper rising. “You don’t know how it was.”

“So why don’t you explain it to me?” Jay sneered.

Jon looked at him, then shook his head slowly.

“No. This isn’t the time or the place, Jay. Right now, the important thing is your mom.”

“Right now? She’s always been the important thing, you asshole!” Jay snapped, worry over his mom, and a nagging feeling that she’d let slip something else important gnawing at his brain. “How the fuck could you leave her alone like that?!” He half-yelled, then before either Kadie or Richie could stop him, he swung a punch at Jon’s face.

Luckily, Jon saw it coming a split-second before it connected, and he was able to roll with the momentum, minimising the impact of the blow, but still it rattled his teeth together painfully, throwing a starburst of color into his brain.

“Jay!” Kadie yelled, grabbing his arm, pulling him backward, and as he turned to her she saw the tears in his eyes.

Richie had grabbed hold of Jon’s shirt, holding him upright - more or less - and Kadie pulled Jay into her arms.

“Richie, take him out of here. Please!” Kadie begged, and without a hesitation Richie nodded.

“Here.” He held out a card with his number printed on it. No name, nothing but the number. “Let me know what’s happening.”

“None of his fucking business.” Jay snarled.

“I said me, Jay.” Richie snapped back. “Your mom’s a friend, even though we only just met. I want to know she’s okay.”

“I’ll call you, Richie.” Kadie promised, pocketing the card and nodding to the door.

With no little difficulty, Richie pushed a reluctant Jon from the room, hissing into his ear when Jon made to protest.

“Just get the fuck out of here, Kidd. He needs time.”

“What about what I need?”

“Right now? I don’t give a fuck.” Richie replied. “This isn’t about you.”

As the door closed behind the two men, Kadie got Jay down onto the couch, only now realising he was cradling his right hand against his belly again. When she pulled his hand away, she saw the bright blood on the dressings she’d applied earlier, and she sighed.

“Dammit, Jay.”

“What?” His eyes were dull, confused as a beaten puppy.

“Look!” She lifted his hand.

“Oh. Doesn’t hurt.”

Kadie sighed again. She knew it did hurt - it would hurt - but right now his attentions were focused so much on the sudden revelation that all he could feel was lost. Almost everything he’d known his entire life - his assumed paternity - had been snatched from him, leaving him with a gaping hole where he thought his father had stood. Didn’t matter, right now, that there was a real, live, flesh and blood father clearly willing - almost desperate - to acknowledge him, because all Jay saw was betrayal.

Another thought intruded on his brain, and it shocked him. Could he even stay with the team now? With his father as one of the majority owners, would he be allowed to stay? Hell, would he want to stay? Would the other guys, every time he was pulled off the bench, every time he got a game in preference to another player, assume it was just nepotism? Just daddy making sure his kid got to play? Would the fans turn against him? Would they figure that he was only on the team because of his father? Whenever he fumbled a catch, whenever his throw was just a little off target, would they say ‘yeah, that’s what happens when you play your son instead of one of the real players’? Would they……….

“Baby, stop it.” Kadie said gently, wrapping her palms around his face. “Your brain’s whirling so fast it’s making me dizzy! This isn’t the time to worry about ‘what ifs’.”

“How did you know……?” He finally looked at her again, for the first time since he’d swung at Jon.

Kadie smiled, tracing a fingertip down his cheek. “Baby, everything you feel is right here in this handsome face. Nobody’s going to hate you, just because of who he is. It’s not your fault.”

“Jesus!” Jay let it out on a gusty sigh, throwing himself backward on the couch, covering his eyes with a forearm. “I don’t know what to fucking think.”

“Well, right now, why don’t you think about your mom getting better? You obviously have a lot to talk about, but she needs to be a bit stronger before you do.” Kadie hesitated, but said it anyway. “And, if you want my opinion - and that’s all it is - I think you should sit down with her and Jon to talk about things.”

“He has no place in my life.” Jay said firmly, and Kadie rubbed a gentle hand on his thigh.

“Please, Jay. Give them a chance to explain. It was a long time ago, and they were probably very different people. Please, don’t shut them out without letting them explain. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you do.”

“Maybe.” He said grudgingly.


Up in her room, Billie was weeping silently, and she was unlucky enough to be caught by a nurse who came to check on her.

“Are you in pain again?”

“No.” She snuffled, then managed a smile. “Not physically anyway. Is……is my son still here?”

“I think he’s down in the waiting room.” The nurse said, looking at her kindly. “Do you want me to get him?”

“Please. I need to see him.”

The nurse left with a sympathetic smile, and Billie lay back again, raising her head when the door opened a few minutes later. It wasn’t the face she’d hoped to see, though, and her heart sank.