While Billie dumped their empty glasses into the dishwasher, pouring the remaining coffee from earlier into a mug for herself, Jon called a cab company, who promised to have a driver at the address in a few minutes. He closed his phone and looked at Billie with a smile, then without further hesitation walked across to her.
Taking the coffee mug from her hand, he laid it aside and wrapped his arms around her in a hug, platonic and friendly, gratitude somehow evident in his touch. Billie wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him back, then they parted, both smiling.
“I’ll call you once Nikki fixes you a hotel, Billie.” He gave a twisted grin. “I’d say give Jay my love, but…..”
“Yeah, I know.” Billie gave an understanding smile. “We’ll tell him as soon as we can, Jon. You deal with telling your wife first, then you can let me know when you’re ready to talk with Jay.”
“I’m ready right now.” Jon said softly. “But you’re right, cowgirl. I’ll see ya.”
He turned to head for the door, then paused, pulling his phone from his pocket again. “What’s your cell number?”
Billie rattled off the number, and Jon quickly punched it into the memory. He knew Billie had his number from his message before. With a quick goodbye, he let himself out of the apartment and headed for the waiting cab.
In the apartment, Billie stood gazing at the door for a moment, then shook off the bereft feeling and set to tidying the apartment, making sure it was spick and span for Jay returning home. With that done - all that remained was to change the bedding again - she showered and climbed into her son’s bed, sleeping the night away dreamlessly.
The next day passed off without a hitch, with Jay discharged from hospital with just a minor warning to get in touch if he suspected any lingering symptoms. His favorite little pet nurse wasn’t on duty, and he was almost glad, so he didn’t have to say goodbye to her in public and potentially make a fool of himself. As soon as he and Billie were in the cab heading to his apartment, though, he pulled out his cellphone and the piece of paper with Kadie’s number, dialling quickly as Billie smiled, looking away diplomatically.
“Kadie?” Jay asked as the phone was answered, and the responding ‘uh-huh’ was guarded and ever-so-slightly suspicious. “Hi. It’s Jay.”
“Jay.” In her apartment, Kadie felt her heart race suddenly. He called. He actually called. “Did you get out already?”
“Yeah. And I told you I’d call when I did, right?”
“When did they release you?”
He chuckled, blushing slightly. “About five minutes ago. I’m in a cab heading home.”
After another few moments of conversation, very conscious of his mom sitting right there, Jay extracted a promise from Kadie to meet him for dinner the next night, and he was grinning as he clicked his phone off. Billie glanced at him, but didn’t say a word. The happiness in her son’s face was enough for her. As the cab neared his apartment, Billie’s own cell rang, and when the display flashed up ‘Deke’ she answered quickly.
“Hi.”
“Hey, Billie.” Jon replied, hearing the unmistakable sounds of movement in the background. “Bad time?”
“Oh, no. Not at all.” She turned slightly away from Jay, but he was lost in his own imaginings of Kadie and oblivious to his mom. “I just collected Jay from hospital and we’re heading to his apartment.”
“How is he?” Jon’s voice was tightly controlled, even though he was alone in his office.
“He’s fine. Actually,” Billie smirked, flicking a teasing glance at their son. “He’s better than that. Five minutes out of hospital and he’s making dates with his little nurse.”
Jon chuckled. “And you’re gonna blame me for that, too, huh?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I know you can’t really talk, if he’s there.” Jon said more seriously. “But I just wanted to let you know Nikki has booked you into Ritz Carlton. Booked in your name, but you don’t need to pay anything.”
“You didn’t need to do that!” Billie protested quietly, turning toward the window again. “Jesus - a Holiday Inn would’ve been fine.”
“Two things.” Jon grinned. “One - I can write it off anyway, because you’re here to visit with one of the players……”
“And two?”
“Two would be that if I come to visit, if we need to talk, there’ll be a hell of a lot less speculation at me walking in there than walking into a Holiday Inn.”
The second point made sense. So did the first, Billie realised. Jon hadn’t accumulated the money he had without a lot of business sense.
“Okay.” She capitulated. “And thank you.”
“No problem.” He said easily, then heard the unmistakable approach of at least two junior Bongiovis. “Gotta go. Kids inbound.”
“Bye.”
Billie closed her phone and turned to find Jay watching her curiously. He didn’t say anything, but the penetrating gaze of those blue eyes made her explain at least a bit.
“That - believe it or not - was…..” She hedged a little. “Your boss’s assistant. When he heard I was staying around for a bit, until I’m sure you’re okay, he told her to find me a hotel room. On him.” Billie tried not to wince at her poor words. Not like she hadn’t - one more than one occasion - been ‘on’ Jon.
“Yeah? Can’t say I’m surprised, though.” Jay nodded. “I don’t think people always give the boss credit, but he does a hell of a lot of good things. Just that, unlike a lot of celebrities, he doesn’t feel the need to make them a big deal.”
Billie smiled. Jay’s obvious admiration for Jon could only be a good thing, with the news he had coming his way soon. Hopefully the fact he already liked the guy would make it easier to find out they were father and son.
“Yeah, well, they didn’t need to make it the Ritz Carlton!” She grinned, but Jay laughed.
“It’s a tax write-off, mom. You’re here to visit one of the team players - that would be me, in case you’ve forgotten - who got hurt playing, so they can spin it into a tax break.”
“So he said.”
“He? Thought you said it was Nikki?” Jay frowned, and Billie cursed silently.
“It was. I meant she said your boss said to use the Ritz.”
Thankfully Jay let it drop, as the cab was just pulling up to his building, and they headed on inside where he dumped his bag in the bedroom while Billie fixed coffee. Another thing he’d inherited from her was the love of strong coffee.
They stayed home that night, ordering in pizza and just generally catching up. Though Billie kept an eye on him, watchful for anything ‘bad’ becoming evident, his huge appetite for the pizza made it pretty clear he was back to his old self. Over his protests, she made up one of the couches into a bed for herself when it got to that time, telling him she’d already changed his sheets so he may as well just get into bed, jokingly telling him it was a ‘mommy order’ and to get his ass into bed.
She slept pretty well, considering, waking to the smell of fresh coffee and stumbling to the kitchen to find Jay already standing at the counter devouring toast with a thick layer of peanut butter.
“Ew.” She said, pouring herself some coffee.
“Good morning to you, too, mom.” He grinned, cheeky and smart-ass. Just like his dad.
“Sorry. Good morning.” She kissed him lightly. “And ew.”
After they’d both eaten - Billie having just toast and butter - she showered and was just about to dry her hair when her cell rang. The display just showed a Philadelphia number, but she answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Billie?” The voice was slightly familiar. “It’s Nick. Nick Fabian?”
“Oh, hi Nick. How you doing?”
“I’m good.” In his apartment, the physiotherapist gently pushed the door closed, keeping his voice pitched low to not disturb his sleeping wife. “Just thought I’d check on Jay. He doing okay?”
“Oh, yeah.” Billie wandered to the kitchen for more coffee, finding Jay there, eating again, and she dipped the phone slightly to speak to him. “It’s Nick. Wants to know how you are.”
“I’m fine.” Jay said shortly, still irritated by the way the guy had been looking at - practically drooling over - his mom.
“He’s - as you probably heard - fine.” Billie said, frowning a little at her grouchy son as she went back to the living room with her coffee.
“And you? How you doin’, Billie?” Nick lowered his voice slightly.
“Oh, I’m fine. Just showered and getting ready to leave soon.”
“You’re leaving? Already?!” That didn’t fit with Nick’s hopes at all. He’d been planning to get inside her at least once before she vanished back to wherever she’d come from. Utah, he thought. Or Dakota. Some shitty little country town anyway, somewhere out in the sticks.
“Just to a hotel.” Billie laughed. “Jay has only one bedroom here, so I’m moving to a hotel until he’s well enough that I decide to leave again.”
“Oh. Cool.” That fit far better. “Which hotel?”
“Ritz Carlton. I’m heading over this afternoon.”
“Yeah?” Nick thought quickly. Tonight his wife had one of her damned classes. Pottery. Painting. Cooking. Some shit like that anyway. Perfect. “And do you have dinner plans?”
“Nope. Jay has a date, so I guess I’m on room service.” Not exactly an innocent young girl, Billie had a fair idea what was coming next, and she quite liked the idea. The physio was young - old enough to not be cradle-snatching - and handsome and obviously interested. A bit of fun might be just what she needed.
“Never!” Nick chuckled. “I can’t have that. Why don’t you let me buy you dinner? The oysters at the Ten Arts Lounge are spectacular.”
“Don’t like oysters.” Billie smiled. “Okay, not strictly true. Not tried them. Kansas is pretty far from the ocean, so…..”
Kansas, Nick thought. That was it. He knew it was somewhere like that.
“Hey, you’re not in Kansas now, Dorothy.” He joked. “C’mon - whaddya got to lose?”
“Okay.” Billie grinned. “Deal. What time?”
“I’ll come by around eight-ish - I’ll call you on this number when I get there, if I don’t see you.”
“Fine. I’ll see you later, then.”
“Count on it, Billie.”
Monday, October 12, 2009
Chapter 18
Sipping the last of her coffee, Billie shook her head suddenly, smiling at some private thought, and Jon had to ask. Hell, not like he’d often - make that ever - been accused of subtlety.
“What?” He asked, smiling at her. “What are you thinking?”
“Hmmm?” Billie had forgotten his innate talent for seeming to read her mind, his ability to know what she was thinking even when they’d only been together so briefly. “I was just thinking that it’s weird.”
“What is?”
“This. Us. The way we seem to have managed to talk about this without it turning into a screaming match. The way - even after being a fan of yours for nearly twenty years - the way I feel comfortable around you.”
“Yeah, well, I guess you’ve seen me at my very worst, haven’t you? After the way we met, not exactly like you can see me as some awe-inspiring rockstar sex god, is it?” He chuckled with her as Billie laughed at that, then his smile turned gentle. “Besides, the feisty cowgirl I met wasn’t impressed by anybody.”
She grinned at the compliment, getting slowly to her feet and reaching to take his empty mug from his hand.
“Do you want anything else? Or do you have to leave? You need to get back to the kids, right?”
“I’m okay for a while.” Jon said, glancing at his watch. “Got any wine?”
“Of course. Red or……..” She blushed. “Pinot?”
Jon laughed at her embarrassment. “I forget how much the fans know! And, yeah, pinot would be great, Billie.”
She disappeared off to the kitchen, willing her face to stop burning, and while she was gone Jon got to his feet, walking across to look at the single photograph on the mantel, a beautiful picture of Billie and Jay, pressed tightly together, clearly a very close mother-son bond. It felt strange, looking at a photograph of someone who so closely resembled himself, but wasn’t. So far, none of his boys had taken so heavily after him, though of course they were much younger than Jay, and Jon could only wonder how on earth nobody had caught the resemblance.
“I love that picture.” Billie said from behind him, bare feet silent on the floor, and Jon turned slowly to take the glass she offered.
“It’s gorgeous.” He agreed, glancing at it again. “It’s weird, though - I look at that, at him, and I wonder how in the hell nobody sees the similarity.” He frowned suddenly. “Or am I just seeing what I want to see?”
“Nope.” Billie traced a fingertip on the photograph, outlining Jay’s jawline. “I see a lot of you in him. More and more as he gets older. His eyes, his jaw. His hair, before he got serious about football and had it cropped short.” Her voice lowered, her eyes flicking unbidden to Jon’s mouth. “His lips.”
“I thought maybe it was just me.” Jon said softly, almost talking to himself. “He does look like I did back then, though, doesn’t he?”
“Uh-huh. He - lucky boy - took his looks from his father. If Kadie is anything to judge by, he got your charm, too.”
Jon rolled his eyes. Talk of his so-called irresistible charms was almost as annoying as talk about his hair, and Billie narrowed her eyes.
“Hey! You charmed me pretty damned easily.” She reminded him. “And you weren’t even trying to. You can’t help it! Jay gets that from you.”
“So what does he get from you then?” Jon challenged her, and Billie smirked.
“That would be the feisty and the stubborn and the right hook. Not so sure where he gets the temper from.”
“Must be from you, ‘cause I don’t lose my temper.” Jon said virtuously.
“No?” Billie shook her head. “So who exactly was it grabbed me and dragged me into the bathroom back at the hospital? Felt like I was being dragged to the principal’s office!”
“Okay, I only lose my temper - a little - if I’m provoked.” He hedged, and Billie giggled.
“I’m just as bad. You were lucky - you weren’t around long enough to ever see my temper, Jon. I don’t lose it often, but when I do…….” She laughed again. “Let’s just say Jay has only seen it once, when he did something very stupid, and he slept on his front for two nights.”
“What did he do?” Jon had to know what would anger Billie so much.
“Ummm…….he and his friend Josh ‘borrowed’ my twenty-two to hunt rabbits and damn nearly shot my neighbor Jace instead.”
“Shit! Really?”
“Mmm.” Billie sipped wine. “I think, really, I was more frightened than angry. Back then, Jay never walked anywhere - everything was at a dead run.” She shivered suddenly. “And if he’d tripped with that rifle in his hands, it could’ve really been a dead run.”
“Jesus!” Jon gulped wine. He’d never been one to sip a drink, and Billie watched in amusement as he emptied the glass.
“More wine?” She teased, and he smiled slightly.
“Uh, yeah, if you have some.”
This time, he followed her to the kitchen, holding his glass as she refilled it, and this time he took a more polite sip as Billie fidgeted with the stem of her glass.
“I’m not trying to keep you away from him.” She said finally. “But do you think it would be a good idea if you stayed away from Jay at least until Dorothea knows?”
Jon hadn’t really thought of it, and he frowned in thought before nodding slowly.
“You’re probably right. Hell, Jay would start to wonder why in the hell I was so interested in his health - he looked surprised enough to see me at the hospital today.” He looked around the room suddenly, trying to remember the layout of doors in the apartment then giving up. “Will you be staying here when he gets out? How many bedrooms are there?”
“Just one bedroom.” Billie shrugged. “I’ll probably find a hotel nearby. I’ll need to stay around until we get all this sorted out.”
“Let me fix that up for you.” Jon said. “I’ll get Nikki - my assistant - to book you a hotel, okay?”
“You don’t…….”
“I know I don’t have to.” He interrupted, giving her that twisted, soft grin she remembered so well. The one he usually showed her after she’d blown him. “I want to, Billie. Please?”
“Okay. And thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jon glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I should get going. Need to call a cab, though - I told my driver to leave.”
“Why?” Billie smirked. “In case you left here with a black eye?”
“Uh, yeah, that’d be it! Plus I didn’t know how long I’d be here. Didn’t entirely expect us to get things settled so easily I guess.”
“No sense being stupid about it, Jon. It happened a long time ago.” Billie shrugged. “And - for the record? I don’t regret it in the least. You may, but I don’t.”
“I don’t either!” Jon protested, confused that she’d even think that. Confused, and just a little hurt. “I don’t regret our time together, Billie!”
“That’s not what I meant. I just meant……..well, no matter how understanding your wife is, Jon, this is going to mess up your life in a big way. Your family, your friends, your kids……..the press…..”
“I don’t give a fuck about the press.” He said firmly. “Dorothea will either hate me or forgive me, and the kids will follow her lead I guess. I hope she does forgive me, but I meant what I said, Billie. I will acknowledge Jay as my son.”
“Even if it tears your family apart?”
“He’s my family, too.” Jon said stubbornly. “Richie knows, and he hasn’t turned against me.
“He’s not your wife, Jon.” Billie said carefully. “He’s not the person you’ve lived with all this time, fathered children from and loved for most of your lives. It’s not the same.”
Jon sighed. “I know, Billie. I know, but you won’t change my mind. Maybe Jay gets the stubborn from us both.”
“What?” He asked, smiling at her. “What are you thinking?”
“Hmmm?” Billie had forgotten his innate talent for seeming to read her mind, his ability to know what she was thinking even when they’d only been together so briefly. “I was just thinking that it’s weird.”
“What is?”
“This. Us. The way we seem to have managed to talk about this without it turning into a screaming match. The way - even after being a fan of yours for nearly twenty years - the way I feel comfortable around you.”
“Yeah, well, I guess you’ve seen me at my very worst, haven’t you? After the way we met, not exactly like you can see me as some awe-inspiring rockstar sex god, is it?” He chuckled with her as Billie laughed at that, then his smile turned gentle. “Besides, the feisty cowgirl I met wasn’t impressed by anybody.”
She grinned at the compliment, getting slowly to her feet and reaching to take his empty mug from his hand.
“Do you want anything else? Or do you have to leave? You need to get back to the kids, right?”
“I’m okay for a while.” Jon said, glancing at his watch. “Got any wine?”
“Of course. Red or……..” She blushed. “Pinot?”
Jon laughed at her embarrassment. “I forget how much the fans know! And, yeah, pinot would be great, Billie.”
She disappeared off to the kitchen, willing her face to stop burning, and while she was gone Jon got to his feet, walking across to look at the single photograph on the mantel, a beautiful picture of Billie and Jay, pressed tightly together, clearly a very close mother-son bond. It felt strange, looking at a photograph of someone who so closely resembled himself, but wasn’t. So far, none of his boys had taken so heavily after him, though of course they were much younger than Jay, and Jon could only wonder how on earth nobody had caught the resemblance.
“I love that picture.” Billie said from behind him, bare feet silent on the floor, and Jon turned slowly to take the glass she offered.
“It’s gorgeous.” He agreed, glancing at it again. “It’s weird, though - I look at that, at him, and I wonder how in the hell nobody sees the similarity.” He frowned suddenly. “Or am I just seeing what I want to see?”
“Nope.” Billie traced a fingertip on the photograph, outlining Jay’s jawline. “I see a lot of you in him. More and more as he gets older. His eyes, his jaw. His hair, before he got serious about football and had it cropped short.” Her voice lowered, her eyes flicking unbidden to Jon’s mouth. “His lips.”
“I thought maybe it was just me.” Jon said softly, almost talking to himself. “He does look like I did back then, though, doesn’t he?”
“Uh-huh. He - lucky boy - took his looks from his father. If Kadie is anything to judge by, he got your charm, too.”
Jon rolled his eyes. Talk of his so-called irresistible charms was almost as annoying as talk about his hair, and Billie narrowed her eyes.
“Hey! You charmed me pretty damned easily.” She reminded him. “And you weren’t even trying to. You can’t help it! Jay gets that from you.”
“So what does he get from you then?” Jon challenged her, and Billie smirked.
“That would be the feisty and the stubborn and the right hook. Not so sure where he gets the temper from.”
“Must be from you, ‘cause I don’t lose my temper.” Jon said virtuously.
“No?” Billie shook her head. “So who exactly was it grabbed me and dragged me into the bathroom back at the hospital? Felt like I was being dragged to the principal’s office!”
“Okay, I only lose my temper - a little - if I’m provoked.” He hedged, and Billie giggled.
“I’m just as bad. You were lucky - you weren’t around long enough to ever see my temper, Jon. I don’t lose it often, but when I do…….” She laughed again. “Let’s just say Jay has only seen it once, when he did something very stupid, and he slept on his front for two nights.”
“What did he do?” Jon had to know what would anger Billie so much.
“Ummm…….he and his friend Josh ‘borrowed’ my twenty-two to hunt rabbits and damn nearly shot my neighbor Jace instead.”
“Shit! Really?”
“Mmm.” Billie sipped wine. “I think, really, I was more frightened than angry. Back then, Jay never walked anywhere - everything was at a dead run.” She shivered suddenly. “And if he’d tripped with that rifle in his hands, it could’ve really been a dead run.”
“Jesus!” Jon gulped wine. He’d never been one to sip a drink, and Billie watched in amusement as he emptied the glass.
“More wine?” She teased, and he smiled slightly.
“Uh, yeah, if you have some.”
This time, he followed her to the kitchen, holding his glass as she refilled it, and this time he took a more polite sip as Billie fidgeted with the stem of her glass.
“I’m not trying to keep you away from him.” She said finally. “But do you think it would be a good idea if you stayed away from Jay at least until Dorothea knows?”
Jon hadn’t really thought of it, and he frowned in thought before nodding slowly.
“You’re probably right. Hell, Jay would start to wonder why in the hell I was so interested in his health - he looked surprised enough to see me at the hospital today.” He looked around the room suddenly, trying to remember the layout of doors in the apartment then giving up. “Will you be staying here when he gets out? How many bedrooms are there?”
“Just one bedroom.” Billie shrugged. “I’ll probably find a hotel nearby. I’ll need to stay around until we get all this sorted out.”
“Let me fix that up for you.” Jon said. “I’ll get Nikki - my assistant - to book you a hotel, okay?”
“You don’t…….”
“I know I don’t have to.” He interrupted, giving her that twisted, soft grin she remembered so well. The one he usually showed her after she’d blown him. “I want to, Billie. Please?”
“Okay. And thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Jon glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I should get going. Need to call a cab, though - I told my driver to leave.”
“Why?” Billie smirked. “In case you left here with a black eye?”
“Uh, yeah, that’d be it! Plus I didn’t know how long I’d be here. Didn’t entirely expect us to get things settled so easily I guess.”
“No sense being stupid about it, Jon. It happened a long time ago.” Billie shrugged. “And - for the record? I don’t regret it in the least. You may, but I don’t.”
“I don’t either!” Jon protested, confused that she’d even think that. Confused, and just a little hurt. “I don’t regret our time together, Billie!”
“That’s not what I meant. I just meant……..well, no matter how understanding your wife is, Jon, this is going to mess up your life in a big way. Your family, your friends, your kids……..the press…..”
“I don’t give a fuck about the press.” He said firmly. “Dorothea will either hate me or forgive me, and the kids will follow her lead I guess. I hope she does forgive me, but I meant what I said, Billie. I will acknowledge Jay as my son.”
“Even if it tears your family apart?”
“He’s my family, too.” Jon said stubbornly. “Richie knows, and he hasn’t turned against me.
“He’s not your wife, Jon.” Billie said carefully. “He’s not the person you’ve lived with all this time, fathered children from and loved for most of your lives. It’s not the same.”
Jon sighed. “I know, Billie. I know, but you won’t change my mind. Maybe Jay gets the stubborn from us both.”
Chapter 17
As his car pulled to a halt outside Jay’s apartment building, Jon ran his hand nervously through his hair for the dozenth time in the last five minutes. He hesitated only a moment before telling his driver to just take off - he’d get a cab back home, since he’d no idea how long he’d be here. There was a flicker of surprise in the driver’s eyes at that - he’d assumed this would be just a fast ‘courtesy’ visit to the player’s mother, but he’d worked this job long enough to know better than to question the boss, so once Jon had climbed out of the backseat he just slipped the car into drive and headed for home.
Standing on the sidewalk, Jon drew a deep breath before heading on into the building, taking the stairs to the appropriate floor then walking along the hallway toward the apartment. The closer he got, the slower his pace seemed to become as the unaccustomed sensation of nervousness began to take hold of him. Despite his blustering threat at the hospital, Jon didn’t want to turn this into a fight, and he certainly didn’t want to drag his family - families, dammit - through the humiliating publicity of a court case to prove paternity. Far better if he could convince Billie of his sincerity on this. Convince her of his firm intention to become a part of his eldest son’s life, and also to stay friends with her, the mother of his firstborn child. Other than those two facts, he really wasn’t sure what else he wanted right now. Or how to convince her of either of those things.
At the apartment door, he scrubbed his hand through his hair yet again before knocking gently on the panel, standing back a little as he waited. God, he felt like a teenager again, knocking on the door to pick up his girl for their first date. After what felt like an hour, he heard the sound of footsteps inside, then the door opened wide and there stood Billie, slim, dark and cowgirl-wild as that evening they’d met.
“Hi.” She said with a tiny smile, nerves coursing through her.
“Hi, Billie.” Jon replied, smiling back at her, then she stepped aside.
“Come on in.” She was walking ahead of him, leaving him to close the door. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Wine? Water?”
“What, no Macallan?” He joked, surprised he so easily remembered the name of her favorite whisky.
“Not here, no.” Billie laughed. “What can I say? My…..” She hesitated, but said it. “….sorry, our son isn’t much of a drinker.”
And there it was. In that simple, instant correction of her words, acknowledging Jay as ‘their’ son, Jon knew this would be okay. Knew that Billie was going to work with him on this, was going to allow him to take up his place as the father his son had never known. Swallowing back the choked feeling of relief, Jon grinned as he answered.
“Well, hell, just whatever you’re having then, Billie.”
“Coffee.” She glanced back at him with a smirk. “We can change to wine later, maybe, but I guess we need to stay clear-headed right now.”
“Yeah.” Jon murmured.
In the kitchen, she swiftly poured two mugs of coffee, checking that Jon still took his straight from the pot, wrinkling her nose when he said yes, he did.
“I still don’t know how you can drink it that way.” She muttered as she handed over the mug.
“Usually, I just pour it in my mouth and swallow.” He smart-assed back, and Billie rolled her eyes.
“Come through?”
Jon followed her into the sitting room, taking a seat on one of Jay’s leather couches as Billie curled onto the other, facing him across the low wooden coffee table.
“He’s got a nice place.” Jon observed, looking around the room, admiring the blend of city and country in the décor.
“He has.” Billie agreed, sipping coffee then laying the mug down on one of the leather mats that edged the table. “So……..”
“Yeah.” Jon fortified himself with a gulp of coffee. “First off, can I just apologise for coming on so strong at the hospital? I was shocked, I guess. I mean, I knew - or at least suspected - about Jay, but seeing you there……..kinda brought everything back I guess. Reminded me of some things I’ve tried very hard to forget.”
“Like me?” Billie said in a tiny voice, her heart twisting in pain, but Jon eased that fear immediately.
“Oh, hell, no! That’s not what I meant……I meant……” He blushed. Jesus, almost twenty years down the line and still it embarrassed him. “Well, you remember how I was…….my problem when we met?”
“Oh. That. That you were……..you couldn’t…….”
“Yeah. That’s what I meant. That, and the total prick I’d become that I almost ripped the band apart.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” Billie smiled. “I wasn’t a fan before - kind of obvious I suppose - but afterward……when I found out who you were, I bought a couple of albums and, well…….I was hooked. Plus it let me hear your voice, and that helped with the pain.”
“Pain?” Somehow, Jon didn’t think she meant emotional pain, and Billie’s soft chuckle confirmed it.
“Yeah, pain. When I was in labor, when it was at it’s worst, I had them playing Blaze of Glory on a constant loop. Drove the nurses crazy but it helped.”
“I’m glad.” Jon grinned. “So Jay heard my voice soon as he was born, huh?” Suddenly realising what a possessive, primadonna prick that made him sound. “Sorry, I just meant…..”
“I know what you meant. And yes, he came into this world to the sound of his father’s voice.” Billie smiled. “And he’s been hearing it most of his life since, off and on.”
Jon grinned and finished his coffee. The time for small talk was over, though, and he needed to talk about more serious - more lasting - things.
“How are we going to do this?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” Billie said honestly. “I mean, you have more to lose than me, so how do you want to play it? You need to tell Dorothea first.”
“Yeah. She’s away, though. She’ll be back…..” Looking skyward, he tried to figure out how long she’d been gone. “….back next Thursday, I think. And I’m sure as hell not telling her this on the phone.”
“Uh, no. Not a good plan.” Billie smiled. “Maybe safer, what with the black belt and all, but not a good idea really.”
“Aw, hell, if she wants to kick my ass she can.” Jon said honestly. “I can only hope she’ll be as understanding as she always has been of all the shit I’ve put her through. Never been quite anything this……..big……before, though.”
He finished on a sigh, his eyes troubled, reminding Billie of when they’d first met, tearing at her heart all over again. To cover herself, she turned her gaze to the table, picking up her mug of coffee and staring into the dark liquid until she had herself under control again, then finally looking across to Jon again.
“So we need to wait until you have the chance to do that. Maybe next weekend?”
“That should work. I can give her a day or so to get back to normal before I hit her with this.”
“Then what? Do we both sit down with Jay, tell him the truth?”
“What does he think?” Jon asked, then realised that wasn’t exactly clear. “I mean, what have you told him about his father?”
“Really, I’ve let him believe that the guy I was engaged to - Craig - was his father. Seemed the easiest. I’ve never said it, in so many words, but just that I was engaged to be married and my fiancé was killed in a car wreck.”
“Sins of omission, not commission?” Jon teased lightly, and she reddened.
“Well, what else could I tell him? I wasn’t going to outright lie to him, Jon, but what was I supposed to say? Yeah, son, this rockstar stayed over for a few nights and he’s your daddy?”
“I was never a rockstar with you.” Jon said quietly, slightly hurt by her words, and Billie heard it in his tone.
“Sorry, Jon. I know. This is just really hard for me - the idea of admitting to my son that I’ve been lying to him all his life. Worse, it’s not even like he’s the result of some one-night stand with a guy whose name I can’t even remember. I knew who you were before he was born. I’ve known every day of his life. Every day he’s heard your voice, heard your songs, yet he never knew. Can you understand that? How hard it is?”
Jon looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t really thought about it from her side. Sure, she’d said she’d seen him on that long-ago Academy Awards broadcast, had discovered who he was before her - their - son was born, but he hadn’t considered how difficult it must have been for her, to be able to see him, albeit at a distance, to hear him, yet not be able to stand up and say he was the father of her child. Not even to that child. Well, she could have. She could have come out of the woodwork of his life with Jay in tow, disrupting his life and subjecting them all to the lurid gossip of the media. But she hadn’t. For almost twenty years she’d held their secret to herself, only her friend Carrie knowing the identity of Jay’s father. For almost twenty years Billie had been protecting him from his past, and he felt a sudden surge of tenderness toward her for that selflessness. It had to be said - she’d been in one hell of a strong bargaining position, to either come right out in public and demand he support the child, or to more or less blackmail him - pay up or I go public and wreck your cosy, happy little rockstar life. But she’d done neither. He relaxed back into the couch, grinning across at her, more relaxed than he’d felt since this whole thing started. Since the day he met his son, back at the Soul tryouts.
“Thank you.” He said sincerely, and Billie frowned.
“For what?”
“For………for protecting me for all this time, darlin’. I wish you hadn’t needed to, and I’m very very glad to have found Jay after all this time, but thank you for protecting me from myself. For the last nineteen-odd years, and even back at the hospital. Thanks, Billie.”
She blushed, ducking her head slightly in acceptance of his sincerity. “You’re welcome, Jon.”
Standing on the sidewalk, Jon drew a deep breath before heading on into the building, taking the stairs to the appropriate floor then walking along the hallway toward the apartment. The closer he got, the slower his pace seemed to become as the unaccustomed sensation of nervousness began to take hold of him. Despite his blustering threat at the hospital, Jon didn’t want to turn this into a fight, and he certainly didn’t want to drag his family - families, dammit - through the humiliating publicity of a court case to prove paternity. Far better if he could convince Billie of his sincerity on this. Convince her of his firm intention to become a part of his eldest son’s life, and also to stay friends with her, the mother of his firstborn child. Other than those two facts, he really wasn’t sure what else he wanted right now. Or how to convince her of either of those things.
At the apartment door, he scrubbed his hand through his hair yet again before knocking gently on the panel, standing back a little as he waited. God, he felt like a teenager again, knocking on the door to pick up his girl for their first date. After what felt like an hour, he heard the sound of footsteps inside, then the door opened wide and there stood Billie, slim, dark and cowgirl-wild as that evening they’d met.
“Hi.” She said with a tiny smile, nerves coursing through her.
“Hi, Billie.” Jon replied, smiling back at her, then she stepped aside.
“Come on in.” She was walking ahead of him, leaving him to close the door. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Wine? Water?”
“What, no Macallan?” He joked, surprised he so easily remembered the name of her favorite whisky.
“Not here, no.” Billie laughed. “What can I say? My…..” She hesitated, but said it. “….sorry, our son isn’t much of a drinker.”
And there it was. In that simple, instant correction of her words, acknowledging Jay as ‘their’ son, Jon knew this would be okay. Knew that Billie was going to work with him on this, was going to allow him to take up his place as the father his son had never known. Swallowing back the choked feeling of relief, Jon grinned as he answered.
“Well, hell, just whatever you’re having then, Billie.”
“Coffee.” She glanced back at him with a smirk. “We can change to wine later, maybe, but I guess we need to stay clear-headed right now.”
“Yeah.” Jon murmured.
In the kitchen, she swiftly poured two mugs of coffee, checking that Jon still took his straight from the pot, wrinkling her nose when he said yes, he did.
“I still don’t know how you can drink it that way.” She muttered as she handed over the mug.
“Usually, I just pour it in my mouth and swallow.” He smart-assed back, and Billie rolled her eyes.
“Come through?”
Jon followed her into the sitting room, taking a seat on one of Jay’s leather couches as Billie curled onto the other, facing him across the low wooden coffee table.
“He’s got a nice place.” Jon observed, looking around the room, admiring the blend of city and country in the décor.
“He has.” Billie agreed, sipping coffee then laying the mug down on one of the leather mats that edged the table. “So……..”
“Yeah.” Jon fortified himself with a gulp of coffee. “First off, can I just apologise for coming on so strong at the hospital? I was shocked, I guess. I mean, I knew - or at least suspected - about Jay, but seeing you there……..kinda brought everything back I guess. Reminded me of some things I’ve tried very hard to forget.”
“Like me?” Billie said in a tiny voice, her heart twisting in pain, but Jon eased that fear immediately.
“Oh, hell, no! That’s not what I meant……I meant……” He blushed. Jesus, almost twenty years down the line and still it embarrassed him. “Well, you remember how I was…….my problem when we met?”
“Oh. That. That you were……..you couldn’t…….”
“Yeah. That’s what I meant. That, and the total prick I’d become that I almost ripped the band apart.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” Billie smiled. “I wasn’t a fan before - kind of obvious I suppose - but afterward……when I found out who you were, I bought a couple of albums and, well…….I was hooked. Plus it let me hear your voice, and that helped with the pain.”
“Pain?” Somehow, Jon didn’t think she meant emotional pain, and Billie’s soft chuckle confirmed it.
“Yeah, pain. When I was in labor, when it was at it’s worst, I had them playing Blaze of Glory on a constant loop. Drove the nurses crazy but it helped.”
“I’m glad.” Jon grinned. “So Jay heard my voice soon as he was born, huh?” Suddenly realising what a possessive, primadonna prick that made him sound. “Sorry, I just meant…..”
“I know what you meant. And yes, he came into this world to the sound of his father’s voice.” Billie smiled. “And he’s been hearing it most of his life since, off and on.”
Jon grinned and finished his coffee. The time for small talk was over, though, and he needed to talk about more serious - more lasting - things.
“How are we going to do this?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” Billie said honestly. “I mean, you have more to lose than me, so how do you want to play it? You need to tell Dorothea first.”
“Yeah. She’s away, though. She’ll be back…..” Looking skyward, he tried to figure out how long she’d been gone. “….back next Thursday, I think. And I’m sure as hell not telling her this on the phone.”
“Uh, no. Not a good plan.” Billie smiled. “Maybe safer, what with the black belt and all, but not a good idea really.”
“Aw, hell, if she wants to kick my ass she can.” Jon said honestly. “I can only hope she’ll be as understanding as she always has been of all the shit I’ve put her through. Never been quite anything this……..big……before, though.”
He finished on a sigh, his eyes troubled, reminding Billie of when they’d first met, tearing at her heart all over again. To cover herself, she turned her gaze to the table, picking up her mug of coffee and staring into the dark liquid until she had herself under control again, then finally looking across to Jon again.
“So we need to wait until you have the chance to do that. Maybe next weekend?”
“That should work. I can give her a day or so to get back to normal before I hit her with this.”
“Then what? Do we both sit down with Jay, tell him the truth?”
“What does he think?” Jon asked, then realised that wasn’t exactly clear. “I mean, what have you told him about his father?”
“Really, I’ve let him believe that the guy I was engaged to - Craig - was his father. Seemed the easiest. I’ve never said it, in so many words, but just that I was engaged to be married and my fiancé was killed in a car wreck.”
“Sins of omission, not commission?” Jon teased lightly, and she reddened.
“Well, what else could I tell him? I wasn’t going to outright lie to him, Jon, but what was I supposed to say? Yeah, son, this rockstar stayed over for a few nights and he’s your daddy?”
“I was never a rockstar with you.” Jon said quietly, slightly hurt by her words, and Billie heard it in his tone.
“Sorry, Jon. I know. This is just really hard for me - the idea of admitting to my son that I’ve been lying to him all his life. Worse, it’s not even like he’s the result of some one-night stand with a guy whose name I can’t even remember. I knew who you were before he was born. I’ve known every day of his life. Every day he’s heard your voice, heard your songs, yet he never knew. Can you understand that? How hard it is?”
Jon looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t really thought about it from her side. Sure, she’d said she’d seen him on that long-ago Academy Awards broadcast, had discovered who he was before her - their - son was born, but he hadn’t considered how difficult it must have been for her, to be able to see him, albeit at a distance, to hear him, yet not be able to stand up and say he was the father of her child. Not even to that child. Well, she could have. She could have come out of the woodwork of his life with Jay in tow, disrupting his life and subjecting them all to the lurid gossip of the media. But she hadn’t. For almost twenty years she’d held their secret to herself, only her friend Carrie knowing the identity of Jay’s father. For almost twenty years Billie had been protecting him from his past, and he felt a sudden surge of tenderness toward her for that selflessness. It had to be said - she’d been in one hell of a strong bargaining position, to either come right out in public and demand he support the child, or to more or less blackmail him - pay up or I go public and wreck your cosy, happy little rockstar life. But she’d done neither. He relaxed back into the couch, grinning across at her, more relaxed than he’d felt since this whole thing started. Since the day he met his son, back at the Soul tryouts.
“Thank you.” He said sincerely, and Billie frowned.
“For what?”
“For………for protecting me for all this time, darlin’. I wish you hadn’t needed to, and I’m very very glad to have found Jay after all this time, but thank you for protecting me from myself. For the last nineteen-odd years, and even back at the hospital. Thanks, Billie.”
She blushed, ducking her head slightly in acceptance of his sincerity. “You’re welcome, Jon.”
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Chapter 16
Jon was in his office, trying to make sense of a typically convoluted email from his younger brother, Matt, when his cell buzzed, vibrating slowly across the desk. He grabbed the distraction gratefully. Sometimes his brother just seemed to be talking another language, though maybe it was just that he was distracted anyway. Distracted by thoughts of Jay. Thoughts of Billie, too, if he were honest. He’d been desperately trying to keep busy today, because he just wanted to head up to Philly to see the kid, but he didn’t want to bust in on him and Billie. This time, he wanted her……well, not her permission, exactly, but he certainly wanted her to know he was coming. He wanted - needed - to talk to her about their situation.
The phone display didn’t enlighten him much, just showing a Philadelphia area code, so although he was hoping it was Billie, he kept his greeting to his usual terse single-word answer.
“Hello?”
“Umm…..I’m looking for……..Deke?” Sitting in Jay’s apartment, Billie was no longer certain she’d guessed right. The tense, snapping voice didn’t sound like Jon.
“Billie.” He said softly, dropping the ‘telephone’ voice instantly.
“Jon.” She could hear it now. Could hear the tiny hint of gravel she remembered under the light tone of his voice. “I wasn’t sure.”
“Well, I figured it maybe wasn’t a great idea to leave my own name.” He explained. Hell, he’d been leaving his cell number - the one only family and a very few friends had - so he wasn’t about to let some anonymous nurse know whose number it was.
“I guess.”
“How’s he doing?” Jon asked, hungry for news.
“He’s good.” Billie said instantly, smiling in the empty apartment. Knowing Jon would hear it in her voice. “He should be getting out of there tomorrow.” A soft chuckle. “Not sure how pleased he’ll be, though.”
“Huh? Why wouldn’t he be pleased to get out?” As he said it, though, Jon’s mind processed Billie’s chuckle, and he continued before she spoke. “Lemme guess………he’s found a cute little nurse?”
“Yep. And it seems like he’s inherited his father’s……..uhh……skills regarding the female of the species.”
Jon chuckled. After all these years, one thing he couldn’t deny was that he had an above average understanding of the female brain - and other parts of their anatomy - than most men. Kinda nice to know it was genetic.
“So - I was thinking of coming up to Philly to see him later.” Jon said, glancing at his watch and seeing that he could just about make it there for the last hour or so of visiting time. “Is that okay with you?”
“Sure.” Billie said instantly, then hesitated. “But…….well, won’t people think it’s weird, you visiting him so much?”
Jon considered that for a few moments, then he replied slowly.
“I don’t think so, no. I mean, I’ve always stayed pretty involved with the team, and with Jay being the youngest player, it kinda makes sense I’d take an interest, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” Billie could see his logic, and she really didn’t want to prevent him seeing Jay. That way only led to lawsuits and a full-on media circus.
“I also wanted to see you.” Jon continued. “We need to talk, Billie.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But we can’t talk at the hospital.”
“Nope. Where you staying?”
“Jay’s apartment. It’s………” She paused. “Okay, I don’t really know where it is. I wasn’t paying much attention when Nick drove me.”
Nick? Jon thought instantly. He knew Nick. More specifically, he knew his reputation. And Billie was still a very attractive woman. Suppressing a caveman response, he tamped down on his irritation. Dammit all, but she wasn’t his to protect.
“I can check Jay’s address from his Soul file.” Jon said, not mentioning the fact that the file still rested under his blotter. “How about I drop by after I’ve seen him? We could talk in peace then.”
“Umm……sure. Because nobody’ll think it’s weird you just stopping by here.”
“Stopping by to check on the mother of one of my players?” Jon asked innocently. “When I’ve just been to visit him in hospital and he expressed concern about his mom? What’s weird about that?”
Billie snorted softly. “You’ve never changed, have you?”
“Nope.”
Sighing, Billie gave in. They did, after all, badly need to talk.
“Okay. I’ll be here.”
“Great. And……..” Jon’s voice softened perceptibly. “Thanks, Billie.”
“I’ll see ya later.” She said. “Bye.”
“Bye.” Jon echoed, sliding his phone shut with a smile. Damn, but they always fell for the humble and sincere shit. Hell, it’d been working on his wife for twenty some years.
Grinning contentedly, he glanced at his watch again and grimaced. Hopefully he hadn’t fucked up. Hopefully Tina could stay with the boys tonight, at least until whenever he got home. Rising from the comfort of his leather swivel chair, he headed for the kitchen to check. Five minutes later the grin was back as Tina had confirmed she had nowhere else to be, so she could stay as long as necessary.
As quickly as he could, but without making his haste too obvious, Jon got ready and headed for Philly. He’d called his driver as soon as Tina said she’d stay, and he’d made the time to say goodnight to each of his sons. Each of his youngest three sons anyway. With that done, he was now heading to see his eldest.
Reaching the hospital, Jon felt brave enough to ride the elevator to Jay’s floor, striding down the hallway toward his son’s room with his hands thrust into his jeans pockets. As he reached the room, a young, very pretty redheaded nurse was just leaving, her face pink with embarrassment. Or maybe something else, he thought suddenly, remembering Billie’s words.
Hearing voices inside, he gave the door a cursory knock as he entered, recognising the voice of Mike Brown.
“This players only, or can anybody join in?” He asked as he entered the room, grinning.
“Boss!” Jay’s face showed embarrassment at his boss’s visit. And pleasure. “I didn’t expect to see you here again.”
“I was kinda passing by and thought I’d drop in.” Jon lied quickly. “Mike.”
“Hey boss.” The player made to stand from the room’s only chair, but Jon waved him to sit.
“Nah, you’re okay, Mike. I been sitting around all day.”
Mike sat again, but he was cursing inwardly. So far his intentions to tell Jay about Nick’s apparent interest in Billie had been halted by the initial small talk, followed by the admittedly very enjoyable interruption of the young nurse, Kadie. Now, just when he was building up to it again, in walked the boss. Typical.
“I hear you’re getting out tomorrow?” Jon said, wondering just how nobody had seen the similarity between them. God knew, since he’d found out he could see tiny flashes of himself in Jay, even more than in any of his other children. But maybe that was just because Jay was a grown man, while the other boys hadn’t even reached their teens.
“Yeah. Doc said I’m fine to get out of here.” His face fell. “I’ve not to play - or even practise - for another four weeks, though.”
His tone of voice made it very clear what he thought of that, and gave every indication that he intended trying to shorten that timescale. Jon winced at the idea of him taking another hit before he was fully recovered, turning to Mike with a stern frown.
“Well, you heard him, Mike. Four weeks. So don’t listen to any of his shit about being fine before that.”
As Mike laughed, Jay gave a pitiful groan. Damn, but he’d not thought that through, mentioning the doctor’s instructions in front of the guy who was currently assisting Coach. His face flushed in embarrassment as the boss continued.
“Anyway, from what I hear this hospital may offer some private aftercare.” His eyes twinkled with mischief as he looked at his son. “So I’m sure you’ll be well taken care of.”
Jay blushed. Wasn’t like he’d never thought about it, especially with Kadie, but just how likely was it that a girl with her looks would be willing to get with him? Not that he thought he was dog-ugly, but dammit………nineteen years old and still a virgin? She’d think there was something wrong with him. Fortunately, neither the boss nor Mike noticed his discomfited expression, just continuing to chat about football and anything else they could think of, until the boss glanced at his watch and rolled his eyes.
“Shit. I gotta go.” Visiting hours were almost over anyway. “Jay - take care, and I’ll see you soon, ‘kay? Mike…….” Jon offered a hand to shake, then stepped closer to the bed and shook hands with Jay, just wishing that he could put his arms around his son and give him a hug, but knowing it just couldn’t be.
He left the hospital and climbed back into the car, the driver moving off instantly, already knowing their destination. On the short ride to Jay’s apartment, Jon laid his head back on the seat, closing his eyes as he thought. Squaring things away with Billie was priority number one, closely followed by breaking the news to Dorothea. After that, well, he guessed he - they - needed to tell Jay the truth. But first was Billie, and convincing her he was right.
The phone display didn’t enlighten him much, just showing a Philadelphia area code, so although he was hoping it was Billie, he kept his greeting to his usual terse single-word answer.
“Hello?”
“Umm…..I’m looking for……..Deke?” Sitting in Jay’s apartment, Billie was no longer certain she’d guessed right. The tense, snapping voice didn’t sound like Jon.
“Billie.” He said softly, dropping the ‘telephone’ voice instantly.
“Jon.” She could hear it now. Could hear the tiny hint of gravel she remembered under the light tone of his voice. “I wasn’t sure.”
“Well, I figured it maybe wasn’t a great idea to leave my own name.” He explained. Hell, he’d been leaving his cell number - the one only family and a very few friends had - so he wasn’t about to let some anonymous nurse know whose number it was.
“I guess.”
“How’s he doing?” Jon asked, hungry for news.
“He’s good.” Billie said instantly, smiling in the empty apartment. Knowing Jon would hear it in her voice. “He should be getting out of there tomorrow.” A soft chuckle. “Not sure how pleased he’ll be, though.”
“Huh? Why wouldn’t he be pleased to get out?” As he said it, though, Jon’s mind processed Billie’s chuckle, and he continued before she spoke. “Lemme guess………he’s found a cute little nurse?”
“Yep. And it seems like he’s inherited his father’s……..uhh……skills regarding the female of the species.”
Jon chuckled. After all these years, one thing he couldn’t deny was that he had an above average understanding of the female brain - and other parts of their anatomy - than most men. Kinda nice to know it was genetic.
“So - I was thinking of coming up to Philly to see him later.” Jon said, glancing at his watch and seeing that he could just about make it there for the last hour or so of visiting time. “Is that okay with you?”
“Sure.” Billie said instantly, then hesitated. “But…….well, won’t people think it’s weird, you visiting him so much?”
Jon considered that for a few moments, then he replied slowly.
“I don’t think so, no. I mean, I’ve always stayed pretty involved with the team, and with Jay being the youngest player, it kinda makes sense I’d take an interest, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” Billie could see his logic, and she really didn’t want to prevent him seeing Jay. That way only led to lawsuits and a full-on media circus.
“I also wanted to see you.” Jon continued. “We need to talk, Billie.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But we can’t talk at the hospital.”
“Nope. Where you staying?”
“Jay’s apartment. It’s………” She paused. “Okay, I don’t really know where it is. I wasn’t paying much attention when Nick drove me.”
Nick? Jon thought instantly. He knew Nick. More specifically, he knew his reputation. And Billie was still a very attractive woman. Suppressing a caveman response, he tamped down on his irritation. Dammit all, but she wasn’t his to protect.
“I can check Jay’s address from his Soul file.” Jon said, not mentioning the fact that the file still rested under his blotter. “How about I drop by after I’ve seen him? We could talk in peace then.”
“Umm……sure. Because nobody’ll think it’s weird you just stopping by here.”
“Stopping by to check on the mother of one of my players?” Jon asked innocently. “When I’ve just been to visit him in hospital and he expressed concern about his mom? What’s weird about that?”
Billie snorted softly. “You’ve never changed, have you?”
“Nope.”
Sighing, Billie gave in. They did, after all, badly need to talk.
“Okay. I’ll be here.”
“Great. And……..” Jon’s voice softened perceptibly. “Thanks, Billie.”
“I’ll see ya later.” She said. “Bye.”
“Bye.” Jon echoed, sliding his phone shut with a smile. Damn, but they always fell for the humble and sincere shit. Hell, it’d been working on his wife for twenty some years.
Grinning contentedly, he glanced at his watch again and grimaced. Hopefully he hadn’t fucked up. Hopefully Tina could stay with the boys tonight, at least until whenever he got home. Rising from the comfort of his leather swivel chair, he headed for the kitchen to check. Five minutes later the grin was back as Tina had confirmed she had nowhere else to be, so she could stay as long as necessary.
As quickly as he could, but without making his haste too obvious, Jon got ready and headed for Philly. He’d called his driver as soon as Tina said she’d stay, and he’d made the time to say goodnight to each of his sons. Each of his youngest three sons anyway. With that done, he was now heading to see his eldest.
Reaching the hospital, Jon felt brave enough to ride the elevator to Jay’s floor, striding down the hallway toward his son’s room with his hands thrust into his jeans pockets. As he reached the room, a young, very pretty redheaded nurse was just leaving, her face pink with embarrassment. Or maybe something else, he thought suddenly, remembering Billie’s words.
Hearing voices inside, he gave the door a cursory knock as he entered, recognising the voice of Mike Brown.
“This players only, or can anybody join in?” He asked as he entered the room, grinning.
“Boss!” Jay’s face showed embarrassment at his boss’s visit. And pleasure. “I didn’t expect to see you here again.”
“I was kinda passing by and thought I’d drop in.” Jon lied quickly. “Mike.”
“Hey boss.” The player made to stand from the room’s only chair, but Jon waved him to sit.
“Nah, you’re okay, Mike. I been sitting around all day.”
Mike sat again, but he was cursing inwardly. So far his intentions to tell Jay about Nick’s apparent interest in Billie had been halted by the initial small talk, followed by the admittedly very enjoyable interruption of the young nurse, Kadie. Now, just when he was building up to it again, in walked the boss. Typical.
“I hear you’re getting out tomorrow?” Jon said, wondering just how nobody had seen the similarity between them. God knew, since he’d found out he could see tiny flashes of himself in Jay, even more than in any of his other children. But maybe that was just because Jay was a grown man, while the other boys hadn’t even reached their teens.
“Yeah. Doc said I’m fine to get out of here.” His face fell. “I’ve not to play - or even practise - for another four weeks, though.”
His tone of voice made it very clear what he thought of that, and gave every indication that he intended trying to shorten that timescale. Jon winced at the idea of him taking another hit before he was fully recovered, turning to Mike with a stern frown.
“Well, you heard him, Mike. Four weeks. So don’t listen to any of his shit about being fine before that.”
As Mike laughed, Jay gave a pitiful groan. Damn, but he’d not thought that through, mentioning the doctor’s instructions in front of the guy who was currently assisting Coach. His face flushed in embarrassment as the boss continued.
“Anyway, from what I hear this hospital may offer some private aftercare.” His eyes twinkled with mischief as he looked at his son. “So I’m sure you’ll be well taken care of.”
Jay blushed. Wasn’t like he’d never thought about it, especially with Kadie, but just how likely was it that a girl with her looks would be willing to get with him? Not that he thought he was dog-ugly, but dammit………nineteen years old and still a virgin? She’d think there was something wrong with him. Fortunately, neither the boss nor Mike noticed his discomfited expression, just continuing to chat about football and anything else they could think of, until the boss glanced at his watch and rolled his eyes.
“Shit. I gotta go.” Visiting hours were almost over anyway. “Jay - take care, and I’ll see you soon, ‘kay? Mike…….” Jon offered a hand to shake, then stepped closer to the bed and shook hands with Jay, just wishing that he could put his arms around his son and give him a hug, but knowing it just couldn’t be.
He left the hospital and climbed back into the car, the driver moving off instantly, already knowing their destination. On the short ride to Jay’s apartment, Jon laid his head back on the seat, closing his eyes as he thought. Squaring things away with Billie was priority number one, closely followed by breaking the news to Dorothea. After that, well, he guessed he - they - needed to tell Jay the truth. But first was Billie, and convincing her he was right.
Chapter 15
Billie waited until what felt like a reasonable time before calling the hospital to check on her son, ringing straight through to his ward since she’d taken a note of the number from the nurse at the desk. After confirming her identity, the nurse’s voice lightened into a friendlier tone.
“He’s doing fine, uh, Mrs Kelsall.”
“Billie’s fine.” She replied automatically.
Dammit, she hated the automatic assumption there was a husband lurking somewhere. Okay, so maybe it was expected, maybe even made it easier to explain the existence of a child, but it wasn’t exactly the dark ages, and it wasn’t like she was the only unmarried mother out there. Though for a while, out in her tiny town, it had felt that way, with the disapproving mutterings of the town gossips. Fuck them all, Billie had told Carrie at the time. Fuck every single one of them. So she was pregnant and unmarried. Big deal. For the brief time she’d known him, the child’s father had brought joy into her life, and she wouldn’t exchange a single second of it to appease the town bitches. Her dedication on that wavered briefly, somewhere around hour nine of labor, but once she held her squalling son in her arms, all the pain was forgotten in a heartbeat. His heartbeat.
“Sorry. Billie.” Over at the hospital, Kadie blushed. Felt strange, calling her by her given name. Particularly when she and the woman’s son………she blinked at her own errant thoughts. When they were what? Talking? Flirting? Being young and never likely to see each other once he was discharged, despite what he might say now? She shook off the confusing thoughts and got her mind back on her job. “Jay’s doing good this morning, and the doctor has just seen him. Said he can probably go home tomorrow.” Please, God, make it tomorrow. Make it tomorrow because I’m not sure I can keep it professional for more than another day, Kadie prayed silently.
“That’s great!” Billie was grinning. “Could you let him know I’ll come by this afternoon. And I’ll bring him some clothes, too. I’m sure he must be sick of wearing hospital gowns.”
“I’ll tell him.” Kadie promised. Nothing wrong with the gowns as far as she was concerned, especially when they offered a tantalizing glimpse of strong muscles as he moved from the bed. Thigh muscles. And glutes. Another mental shake. “I’m sorry, Billie. I have to go do my vampire act again.”
Billie laughed at the terminology. “Vampire? I hope you’re not biting my son?”
“Ummm…….only if I have to.” She blushed furiously.
There was a moment of silence on the line as Billie smiled. Looked like her son had taken his father’s ability to destroy the professionalism of a woman with a glance. Hopefully all he’d done was glance.
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you did.” Billie murmured.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing.” She relented. “Could you just let him know I’ll be along later.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Laying down the phone, Billie grinned. Damned Bongiovi genes were running stronger than she’d realised. Sure, the eyes and the smirk she’d recognised for years, but this was the first time she’d been aware of him turning on the charm. She was almost relieved, because - for God’s sake - he was nineteen years old and, as far as she knew, still a virgin. He’d thrown himself so headlong into sports, turning a passion into a career, that it had left him little time for relationships with the opposite sex. Hell, at least it was with the opposite sex!
She showered and dressed, taking her time, luxuriating in the lack of rush. Back home, with two horses and a dog to take care of, her mornings were never lazy. Even on the occasions she promised herself an easy day, wandering out to the corral in pajamas, she’d end up seeing something that needed doing, realising an hour later that she was elbow deep in something messy, but still wearing her pajamas.
When she finally got to the hospital, lugging a bag with clothes and shoes for Jay’s impending escape, she could hear voices as she approached his room. Slowing her pace, she listened more closely, reassured when she realised the other voice was female. The tone of both voices was teasing and light, the soft purr of her son’s voice new to her as he exercised those latent skills he’d inherited from his daddy, seducing the girl with soft words and, no doubt, those devastating blue eyes. Grinning happily, Billie made sure to make a little more noise than usual as she got to the room door, hearing the scuffle of feet as though someone was moving fast.
“Hi Jay!” She said brightly, then pretended to just notice the redheaded nurse blushing as she tidied her kit away. “Oh, sorry - should I come back?”
“No, I’m all done.” The girl said, and Billie recognised the voice from the phone.
“Hi. I think we spoke earlier. I’m Billie.”
The nurse’s eyes flashed from the woman standing before her, to the bed and the blue-eyed guy there, and back to the woman.
“You’re Jay’s mom?” She said, then realised how incredulous it sounded. “Sorry. You just…..”
Billie braced herself for the ‘you don’t look old enough’ thing, but she was pleasantly surprised.
“I expected you to have blue eyes, too, I guess. Sorry.”
“Mom, this is Kadie.” Jay said from the bed, relieved to see Billie actually liked the girl. “Kadie, my mom.”
“Nice to meet you.” Billie offered a hand, and after hesitating Kadie shook it quickly.
“You too.” An apologetic glance toward Jay. “Sorry. I have to go.”
Unspoken was the admission that she’d actually been in the room for almost a half hour. The bloods had been drawn in the first five minutes, but Jay’s enticing personality had held her there. His personality had held her mind while his eyes held her captivated. And his hands had held hers in a tender grip, the pressure light enough that they could easily part if - when - they were interrupted, but enough of a contact that they could feel it all the way to their souls.
Without another word, Kadie gathered her kit and left, and Jay watched the empty doorway until Billie cleared her throat in exaggerated fashion.
“Should I get the doctor back, or is the stunned look in your eyes from something else entirely?” She teased, and Jay turned those eyes to her solemnly.
“I think I could love her.” He said softly, and Billie was startled for a moment, then grinned.
“You’re just like your father.” She said, then silently cursed herself for the slip. Of course, he was just like Jon - similarities in their appearances becoming more apparent as Jay grew older, but also he had that strange mix of openness and reticence, never afraid to say just what he was thinking, but never to an outsider. So much of it was obviously inbred.
“I am?” He looked surprised, the unexpected words enough to jolt him from his preoccupation. “You’ve never said that before.”
“No?” Billie cursed herself again for a fool. Just being around Jon had been enough to destroy years of lies. “Maybe there’s a lot I’ve never said about him, Jay.”
He frowned at that, the narrowed eyes another reminder of Jon, and Billie turned to heft his bag onto the foot of the bed, changing the subject swiftly.
“I brought you some clothes. Kadie - I guess it was her I spoke with when I called - said you should be getting out of here tomorrow, so I thought it’d save time, and……”
“Sorry to interrupt.” A male voice from over by the door, Billie twisting around to see who was speaking. A male nurse was approaching, carrying a slip of paper which he offered to Billie. “Sorry. I guess you’re Jay’s mom?”
“That’s right.”
“Cool. Somebody called here earlier, looking for you. He said he didn’t know where you were staying and asked if I could pass on a message. Here you go - his number and stuff’s on there.”
“Thanks.” Billie took the slip of paper and the guy smiled and left as she looked down at the sheet.
“Billie - Jay Kelsall’s mom - please call Philly Soul office on 501-732-9725. Ask for Deke.”
She frowned at the page. Deke? And that area code didn’t look like it belonged to Philly. Looked more like New Jersey to her.
“Mom?” Jay could see the strange expression on her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Hmmm?” She looked up as she thought she’d figured it out. Only one person up this way who’d know the name Deke belonged to her long-dead mutt. She folded the paper and stuffed it into her jeans pocket. “Nothing’s wrong, baby. Just somebody from the Soul I think, wanting to check how you’re doing.”
“Yeah? Who?”
“Says Deke.” She said slowly, and Jay frowned, shaking his head.
“I don’t know anybody called Deke.”
“Probably just a staffer.” She said off-handedly. “Maybe needs to check insurance details or something. Okay, so I brought you jeans……..”
Jay let it go, listening patiently as his mom told him what clothes she’d brought, then she dumped the bag on the floor and sat down, content now to just visit with her son for a while. Calling the imaginary Deke was something that could wait until she was safely in the privacy of Jay’s apartment.
“He’s doing fine, uh, Mrs Kelsall.”
“Billie’s fine.” She replied automatically.
Dammit, she hated the automatic assumption there was a husband lurking somewhere. Okay, so maybe it was expected, maybe even made it easier to explain the existence of a child, but it wasn’t exactly the dark ages, and it wasn’t like she was the only unmarried mother out there. Though for a while, out in her tiny town, it had felt that way, with the disapproving mutterings of the town gossips. Fuck them all, Billie had told Carrie at the time. Fuck every single one of them. So she was pregnant and unmarried. Big deal. For the brief time she’d known him, the child’s father had brought joy into her life, and she wouldn’t exchange a single second of it to appease the town bitches. Her dedication on that wavered briefly, somewhere around hour nine of labor, but once she held her squalling son in her arms, all the pain was forgotten in a heartbeat. His heartbeat.
“Sorry. Billie.” Over at the hospital, Kadie blushed. Felt strange, calling her by her given name. Particularly when she and the woman’s son………she blinked at her own errant thoughts. When they were what? Talking? Flirting? Being young and never likely to see each other once he was discharged, despite what he might say now? She shook off the confusing thoughts and got her mind back on her job. “Jay’s doing good this morning, and the doctor has just seen him. Said he can probably go home tomorrow.” Please, God, make it tomorrow. Make it tomorrow because I’m not sure I can keep it professional for more than another day, Kadie prayed silently.
“That’s great!” Billie was grinning. “Could you let him know I’ll come by this afternoon. And I’ll bring him some clothes, too. I’m sure he must be sick of wearing hospital gowns.”
“I’ll tell him.” Kadie promised. Nothing wrong with the gowns as far as she was concerned, especially when they offered a tantalizing glimpse of strong muscles as he moved from the bed. Thigh muscles. And glutes. Another mental shake. “I’m sorry, Billie. I have to go do my vampire act again.”
Billie laughed at the terminology. “Vampire? I hope you’re not biting my son?”
“Ummm…….only if I have to.” She blushed furiously.
There was a moment of silence on the line as Billie smiled. Looked like her son had taken his father’s ability to destroy the professionalism of a woman with a glance. Hopefully all he’d done was glance.
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you did.” Billie murmured.
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing.” She relented. “Could you just let him know I’ll be along later.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Laying down the phone, Billie grinned. Damned Bongiovi genes were running stronger than she’d realised. Sure, the eyes and the smirk she’d recognised for years, but this was the first time she’d been aware of him turning on the charm. She was almost relieved, because - for God’s sake - he was nineteen years old and, as far as she knew, still a virgin. He’d thrown himself so headlong into sports, turning a passion into a career, that it had left him little time for relationships with the opposite sex. Hell, at least it was with the opposite sex!
She showered and dressed, taking her time, luxuriating in the lack of rush. Back home, with two horses and a dog to take care of, her mornings were never lazy. Even on the occasions she promised herself an easy day, wandering out to the corral in pajamas, she’d end up seeing something that needed doing, realising an hour later that she was elbow deep in something messy, but still wearing her pajamas.
When she finally got to the hospital, lugging a bag with clothes and shoes for Jay’s impending escape, she could hear voices as she approached his room. Slowing her pace, she listened more closely, reassured when she realised the other voice was female. The tone of both voices was teasing and light, the soft purr of her son’s voice new to her as he exercised those latent skills he’d inherited from his daddy, seducing the girl with soft words and, no doubt, those devastating blue eyes. Grinning happily, Billie made sure to make a little more noise than usual as she got to the room door, hearing the scuffle of feet as though someone was moving fast.
“Hi Jay!” She said brightly, then pretended to just notice the redheaded nurse blushing as she tidied her kit away. “Oh, sorry - should I come back?”
“No, I’m all done.” The girl said, and Billie recognised the voice from the phone.
“Hi. I think we spoke earlier. I’m Billie.”
The nurse’s eyes flashed from the woman standing before her, to the bed and the blue-eyed guy there, and back to the woman.
“You’re Jay’s mom?” She said, then realised how incredulous it sounded. “Sorry. You just…..”
Billie braced herself for the ‘you don’t look old enough’ thing, but she was pleasantly surprised.
“I expected you to have blue eyes, too, I guess. Sorry.”
“Mom, this is Kadie.” Jay said from the bed, relieved to see Billie actually liked the girl. “Kadie, my mom.”
“Nice to meet you.” Billie offered a hand, and after hesitating Kadie shook it quickly.
“You too.” An apologetic glance toward Jay. “Sorry. I have to go.”
Unspoken was the admission that she’d actually been in the room for almost a half hour. The bloods had been drawn in the first five minutes, but Jay’s enticing personality had held her there. His personality had held her mind while his eyes held her captivated. And his hands had held hers in a tender grip, the pressure light enough that they could easily part if - when - they were interrupted, but enough of a contact that they could feel it all the way to their souls.
Without another word, Kadie gathered her kit and left, and Jay watched the empty doorway until Billie cleared her throat in exaggerated fashion.
“Should I get the doctor back, or is the stunned look in your eyes from something else entirely?” She teased, and Jay turned those eyes to her solemnly.
“I think I could love her.” He said softly, and Billie was startled for a moment, then grinned.
“You’re just like your father.” She said, then silently cursed herself for the slip. Of course, he was just like Jon - similarities in their appearances becoming more apparent as Jay grew older, but also he had that strange mix of openness and reticence, never afraid to say just what he was thinking, but never to an outsider. So much of it was obviously inbred.
“I am?” He looked surprised, the unexpected words enough to jolt him from his preoccupation. “You’ve never said that before.”
“No?” Billie cursed herself again for a fool. Just being around Jon had been enough to destroy years of lies. “Maybe there’s a lot I’ve never said about him, Jay.”
He frowned at that, the narrowed eyes another reminder of Jon, and Billie turned to heft his bag onto the foot of the bed, changing the subject swiftly.
“I brought you some clothes. Kadie - I guess it was her I spoke with when I called - said you should be getting out of here tomorrow, so I thought it’d save time, and……”
“Sorry to interrupt.” A male voice from over by the door, Billie twisting around to see who was speaking. A male nurse was approaching, carrying a slip of paper which he offered to Billie. “Sorry. I guess you’re Jay’s mom?”
“That’s right.”
“Cool. Somebody called here earlier, looking for you. He said he didn’t know where you were staying and asked if I could pass on a message. Here you go - his number and stuff’s on there.”
“Thanks.” Billie took the slip of paper and the guy smiled and left as she looked down at the sheet.
“Billie - Jay Kelsall’s mom - please call Philly Soul office on 501-732-9725. Ask for Deke.”
She frowned at the page. Deke? And that area code didn’t look like it belonged to Philly. Looked more like New Jersey to her.
“Mom?” Jay could see the strange expression on her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Hmmm?” She looked up as she thought she’d figured it out. Only one person up this way who’d know the name Deke belonged to her long-dead mutt. She folded the paper and stuffed it into her jeans pocket. “Nothing’s wrong, baby. Just somebody from the Soul I think, wanting to check how you’re doing.”
“Yeah? Who?”
“Says Deke.” She said slowly, and Jay frowned, shaking his head.
“I don’t know anybody called Deke.”
“Probably just a staffer.” She said off-handedly. “Maybe needs to check insurance details or something. Okay, so I brought you jeans……..”
Jay let it go, listening patiently as his mom told him what clothes she’d brought, then she dumped the bag on the floor and sat down, content now to just visit with her son for a while. Calling the imaginary Deke was something that could wait until she was safely in the privacy of Jay’s apartment.
Chapter 14
After the various stresses of the last few days - from the fake calm of the call from a Soul staffer, through the panicked trip north to Philly and the unexpected, yet somehow strangely inevitable, meeting with Jon - Billie fell into an exhausted sleep just after nine o’clock that night. The sudden, blessed relief from strain had left her drained, numb with fatigue, and she’d barely sustained the energy to walk around the mall for necessities before succumbing to it and returning to Jay’s apartment. One of her purchases had been a take-out sushi dinner, and she picked her way through it before curling into her son’s bed and falling fast asleep, the newly bought clothes still in their various bags against the wall.
Up in New York, Jon’s night was diametrically opposite to Billie’s. After returning home to the apartment and, as usual, taking his parental duties seriously, letting Tina get the boys bathed and ready, then taking over to settle them for the night, Jon said goodnight and retreated to the sitting room. He cracked open a bottle of wine, the first glass downed recklessly fast before he settled to sip more slowly at the next, letting his mind wander back over the day. Really, over the past few days, from the burning pride of watching his son - his son, dammit! - run out as quarterback for the team, through the crushing terror he’d felt as he watched that same talented kid left unconscious from a bad tackle. The feeling of utter helplessness as he’d waited for news, then the almost welcome distraction of unreasoning rage at the boy’s mother for her deceit over the last nineteen-odd years. The strange gratitude when she finally drilled into his thick skull that it had been done to protect him from his youthful indiscretion, not to punish him by shutting him out of his son’s life.
Finally, and overriding every other emotion, was the cast-iron intent that he would acknowledge Jay as his son.
Of course, right now he had none of the finer details of that private vow worked out - simply a promise he’d made to himself. The hows and whys, well they would take a bit of planning. First and foremost, he needed to break the news to Dorothea. After that - always assuming he survived her wrath - he could worry about the rest of the world finding out. But Dorothea had to know first, and that was the toughie.
How did you tell your wife of twenty years - give or take - that you fathered a child with another woman? Fathered that child years before the first child she bore for you. He grimaced. Fathered that child at a time when you couldn’t even get it up with her, let alone make love to her. Jon sighed, gulping the last of the wine and immediately refilling his glass. How indeed?
The next morning, if they’d only known it, seemed to continue the contrasting lifestyles of the two of them, with Billie awake and out of bed just after six o’clock, bright and alert for the day. Jon, on the other hand, woke around nine, his brain fuzzed with hangover and his mood bleak. Not for any particular reason, though, except that, well, dammit, it was morning, and he just didn’t like mornings. He’d had almost five hours’ sleep, after sitting drinking wine and checking emails until somewhere near four o’clock. Whatever time the third bottle of wine had run dry on him.
Usually, at home, he held it down to two bottles in an attempt to appease Dot, but she wasn’t there and he was sort of celebrating. At least, that was how he justified it to himself. Celebrating the apparent recovery of his eldest son from a potentially severe injury. Not that he could really use that as an explanation to Dot if she called. Thank God for time differences. She’d called just about two in his morning, eight o’clock in Rome, and he’d been only just into the second bottle of wine, chatting with her for a while about how her trip was going and the fun Steph was having. Dot even asked about the young player who’d been hurt, since Jon had mentioned it to her the evening it had happened, and he was sober enough to remember to keep a tight rein on his tongue, telling her the kid had woken up and the doctors were happy he’d be fine. Laughing, Dot told him Stephanie would be pleased as she had a bit of a thing for the handsome young quarterback. That thought was almost enough to freak Jon sober again.
Stumbling into his bathroom, Jon took a long, luxuriously satisfying pee before stepping into the shower, soaping and shampooing, then rinsing off before gritting his teeth and turning the spray to icy needle jets, shocking his body awake and chasing away the final cobwebs of wine from his brain. Shivering and muttering curses, but feeling alive and alert, he stepped out, winding a towel around his waist before cleaning his teeth. Before leaving the bathroom, he as usual wiped moisturizer onto his face - hell, male grooming even caught up to Jersey boys, given enough time - then went in search of clothes.
Two minutes later, wearing baggy cargo pants and a faded Philly Soul t shirt, he was in the kitchen and pouring coffee. With a mug of coffee so strong it was damned near chewable in hand, he went to look for his sons, following the muted sounds of play along to the sitting room. They were about as angelic as three Bongiovis could be - Jesse playing one of his computer games, Jake building something complicated from Meccano and Romeo happily coloring one of his books with brightly mismatched crayons. By the look of it, he was designing a new shirt for his Uncle Richie, Jon thought, seeing the purple next to the green and the yellow border. The boy’s artistic style was nothing if not colorful.
“Hey guys. You had breakfast yet?”
“Daddy!” Romeo gave a wide grin, dumping crayons on the carpet as he got to his feet and charged at Jon.
Laughing at the spontaneous hug his knees were receiving, Jon ruffled the little one’s hair.
“Mornin’ buddy.” He chuckled, laying his mug on a table and reaching down to pick up his son. “How you doin’?”
“Good.” Romeo gave another grin. “Hungry.”
“Yeah?” Jon shifted him onto his hip, reaching for his coffee again. “You guys haven’t eaten yet, then?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Okay. Jess, Jakey, c’mon. Breakfast.”
Reluctantly, Jake left his complex construction of steel struts and bolts, and Jesse got distractedly to his feet, still flicking controls on his game.
“Leave that here.” Jon said sternly. “Save it and you can pick it up again after breakfast.”
Jesse sighed, the sound carefully regulated to voice his annoyance without crossing over into being insubordinate enough to land him in trouble. Trouble that would at the very least lose him the game for a day. Leaving the room, Jon looked back at Jake’s machine, grinning to himself as he remembered playing with an almost identical toy when he was a kid, though back then they were called erector sets. Probably before the word got too close to meaning something else to him, he thought with a wry grin.
In the kitchen, with hindrance from the three boys, Jon fixed breakfast for them all. Cereal, even he could manage. With three boys crunching their way through something frighteningly chocolately for this early, he just poured himself another mug of caffeine and perched his butt on a stool at the counter. Watching them, he briefly entertained an idea of taking them with him to the hospital to visit Jay, but then the idea of Billie walking in on that ‘family’ scene struck him, and he realised it probably wasn’t his brightest plan ever.
“Guys - I told you one of our Soul players got hurt, right?” He began, and got three nods in return.
“Uh-huh.” Jake swallowed the mouthful of cereal he was trying to talk around. “Jay - the junior quarterback. You said he got hurt in a bad tackle.”
Jon hid a smile at the technical terminology coming from the little boy. Maybe he overdid the football talk at home, if the kids knew all the right words.
“Yeah. That’s right.” Jon slugged coffee, blinking at the caffeine jolt even though he knew it was coming. “Well, he’s awake now, and it looks like he’s gonna be fine.”
“Great!” Jesse this time, continuing seriously. “Graz has been sidelined too long, he’s not fit enough right now, so we need the other QB fit.”
Definitely overdoing the technical stuff, Jon thought.
“Uh-huh. So, anyway, I’m thinking I’ll go see Jay again today. Y’know, his dad isn’t around, so me and your Uncle Richie have been kinda looking out for him.”
“Uh-huh.” Non-committal and distracted from Jesse, already thinking of his computer game again.
“You guys okay to stay here with Tina?”
“Uh-huh.” Jesse said again, wiping his mouth on his hand. “Finished. Can I go play my game now?”
Jon suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, nodding instead.
“Yep. Just put your……….thank you.” He didn’t even need to finish it, watching as Jesse took his plate and spoon and put them into the dishwasher.
A few minutes later, Jon was alone in the kitchen, the three boys back playing happily in the sitting room. Damn if sometimes the kids didn’t make him feel like a spare part in this family.
Up in New York, Jon’s night was diametrically opposite to Billie’s. After returning home to the apartment and, as usual, taking his parental duties seriously, letting Tina get the boys bathed and ready, then taking over to settle them for the night, Jon said goodnight and retreated to the sitting room. He cracked open a bottle of wine, the first glass downed recklessly fast before he settled to sip more slowly at the next, letting his mind wander back over the day. Really, over the past few days, from the burning pride of watching his son - his son, dammit! - run out as quarterback for the team, through the crushing terror he’d felt as he watched that same talented kid left unconscious from a bad tackle. The feeling of utter helplessness as he’d waited for news, then the almost welcome distraction of unreasoning rage at the boy’s mother for her deceit over the last nineteen-odd years. The strange gratitude when she finally drilled into his thick skull that it had been done to protect him from his youthful indiscretion, not to punish him by shutting him out of his son’s life.
Finally, and overriding every other emotion, was the cast-iron intent that he would acknowledge Jay as his son.
Of course, right now he had none of the finer details of that private vow worked out - simply a promise he’d made to himself. The hows and whys, well they would take a bit of planning. First and foremost, he needed to break the news to Dorothea. After that - always assuming he survived her wrath - he could worry about the rest of the world finding out. But Dorothea had to know first, and that was the toughie.
How did you tell your wife of twenty years - give or take - that you fathered a child with another woman? Fathered that child years before the first child she bore for you. He grimaced. Fathered that child at a time when you couldn’t even get it up with her, let alone make love to her. Jon sighed, gulping the last of the wine and immediately refilling his glass. How indeed?
The next morning, if they’d only known it, seemed to continue the contrasting lifestyles of the two of them, with Billie awake and out of bed just after six o’clock, bright and alert for the day. Jon, on the other hand, woke around nine, his brain fuzzed with hangover and his mood bleak. Not for any particular reason, though, except that, well, dammit, it was morning, and he just didn’t like mornings. He’d had almost five hours’ sleep, after sitting drinking wine and checking emails until somewhere near four o’clock. Whatever time the third bottle of wine had run dry on him.
Usually, at home, he held it down to two bottles in an attempt to appease Dot, but she wasn’t there and he was sort of celebrating. At least, that was how he justified it to himself. Celebrating the apparent recovery of his eldest son from a potentially severe injury. Not that he could really use that as an explanation to Dot if she called. Thank God for time differences. She’d called just about two in his morning, eight o’clock in Rome, and he’d been only just into the second bottle of wine, chatting with her for a while about how her trip was going and the fun Steph was having. Dot even asked about the young player who’d been hurt, since Jon had mentioned it to her the evening it had happened, and he was sober enough to remember to keep a tight rein on his tongue, telling her the kid had woken up and the doctors were happy he’d be fine. Laughing, Dot told him Stephanie would be pleased as she had a bit of a thing for the handsome young quarterback. That thought was almost enough to freak Jon sober again.
Stumbling into his bathroom, Jon took a long, luxuriously satisfying pee before stepping into the shower, soaping and shampooing, then rinsing off before gritting his teeth and turning the spray to icy needle jets, shocking his body awake and chasing away the final cobwebs of wine from his brain. Shivering and muttering curses, but feeling alive and alert, he stepped out, winding a towel around his waist before cleaning his teeth. Before leaving the bathroom, he as usual wiped moisturizer onto his face - hell, male grooming even caught up to Jersey boys, given enough time - then went in search of clothes.
Two minutes later, wearing baggy cargo pants and a faded Philly Soul t shirt, he was in the kitchen and pouring coffee. With a mug of coffee so strong it was damned near chewable in hand, he went to look for his sons, following the muted sounds of play along to the sitting room. They were about as angelic as three Bongiovis could be - Jesse playing one of his computer games, Jake building something complicated from Meccano and Romeo happily coloring one of his books with brightly mismatched crayons. By the look of it, he was designing a new shirt for his Uncle Richie, Jon thought, seeing the purple next to the green and the yellow border. The boy’s artistic style was nothing if not colorful.
“Hey guys. You had breakfast yet?”
“Daddy!” Romeo gave a wide grin, dumping crayons on the carpet as he got to his feet and charged at Jon.
Laughing at the spontaneous hug his knees were receiving, Jon ruffled the little one’s hair.
“Mornin’ buddy.” He chuckled, laying his mug on a table and reaching down to pick up his son. “How you doin’?”
“Good.” Romeo gave another grin. “Hungry.”
“Yeah?” Jon shifted him onto his hip, reaching for his coffee again. “You guys haven’t eaten yet, then?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Okay. Jess, Jakey, c’mon. Breakfast.”
Reluctantly, Jake left his complex construction of steel struts and bolts, and Jesse got distractedly to his feet, still flicking controls on his game.
“Leave that here.” Jon said sternly. “Save it and you can pick it up again after breakfast.”
Jesse sighed, the sound carefully regulated to voice his annoyance without crossing over into being insubordinate enough to land him in trouble. Trouble that would at the very least lose him the game for a day. Leaving the room, Jon looked back at Jake’s machine, grinning to himself as he remembered playing with an almost identical toy when he was a kid, though back then they were called erector sets. Probably before the word got too close to meaning something else to him, he thought with a wry grin.
In the kitchen, with hindrance from the three boys, Jon fixed breakfast for them all. Cereal, even he could manage. With three boys crunching their way through something frighteningly chocolately for this early, he just poured himself another mug of caffeine and perched his butt on a stool at the counter. Watching them, he briefly entertained an idea of taking them with him to the hospital to visit Jay, but then the idea of Billie walking in on that ‘family’ scene struck him, and he realised it probably wasn’t his brightest plan ever.
“Guys - I told you one of our Soul players got hurt, right?” He began, and got three nods in return.
“Uh-huh.” Jake swallowed the mouthful of cereal he was trying to talk around. “Jay - the junior quarterback. You said he got hurt in a bad tackle.”
Jon hid a smile at the technical terminology coming from the little boy. Maybe he overdid the football talk at home, if the kids knew all the right words.
“Yeah. That’s right.” Jon slugged coffee, blinking at the caffeine jolt even though he knew it was coming. “Well, he’s awake now, and it looks like he’s gonna be fine.”
“Great!” Jesse this time, continuing seriously. “Graz has been sidelined too long, he’s not fit enough right now, so we need the other QB fit.”
Definitely overdoing the technical stuff, Jon thought.
“Uh-huh. So, anyway, I’m thinking I’ll go see Jay again today. Y’know, his dad isn’t around, so me and your Uncle Richie have been kinda looking out for him.”
“Uh-huh.” Non-committal and distracted from Jesse, already thinking of his computer game again.
“You guys okay to stay here with Tina?”
“Uh-huh.” Jesse said again, wiping his mouth on his hand. “Finished. Can I go play my game now?”
Jon suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, nodding instead.
“Yep. Just put your……….thank you.” He didn’t even need to finish it, watching as Jesse took his plate and spoon and put them into the dishwasher.
A few minutes later, Jon was alone in the kitchen, the three boys back playing happily in the sitting room. Damn if sometimes the kids didn’t make him feel like a spare part in this family.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Chapter 13
Billie took the apartment keys, then with a shake of her head she reached into the locker, grabbing out Jay’s dirty clothes and stuffing them into the gym bag folded at the bottom of the locker.
“May as well catch up on his laundry while I’m here.” She muttered, hating to come across all ‘mom’, but unable to stop herself doing it.
Nick just grinned, waiting while she zipped the bag, then he took it from her and slung it over his shoulder, his hand again sliding easily onto her back to direct her movement.
“C’mon.” He said softly. “Pretty sure Coach won’t need me, but I should check.”
“Y’know, I can get a cab to Jay’s place.” Billie said as they headed toward the field, but Nick shook his head.
“Nope. I’ll drive you.” His eyes twinkled as he grinned at her. “Bet I can out-stubborn you.”
“I doubt that.” Billie smiled. “But okay - thanks for the ride.”
He bit back any comment he might make about repayment in kind, just nodding as they got to the field. After a quick word with Coach, verifying that he wasn’t needed, he came back to Billie’s side.
“Let’s go, then.” He turned away from the field, heading in a different direction as he went for the staff car park.
Billie waved to Coach and the players, who yelled goodbyes as they left, but Mike was watching Nick darkly, knowing the guy was married but also knowing him well enough to see his intentions toward the woman currently following him.
“Fuckin’ prick.” He muttered to nobody in particular. Maybe he’d take a trip out and visit Jay later.
Nick led Billie to a car which was pretty much what she’d expected of him - black and sleek, crouched in the parking lot like a half-tame beast. He dropped Jay’s bag into the trunk then frowned in confusion.
“Uh, where’s your stuff, Billie?”
“In here.” She hefted the oversized purse on her shoulder. “I was in a hurry to get here - just threw in a clean shirt and underwear.”
“Oh. Okay. Did you want me to stop somewhere so you can buy anything?”
“No, s’fine. Jay told me his apartment is near a decent mall - I’ll take a run out later. Right now I just need to shower.” She replied as Nick opened the car door and helped her in, closing the door before he murmured a response.
“I can work with the shower.” He mumbled to himself, trying to hide the smirk since he was trying to be all supportive and friendly right now.
Traffic was light, and Jay’s apartment wasn’t far away, so the trip didn’t even take ten minutes, Nick pulling into the adjacent parking lot and stopping the car.
“This is us.” He opened his door, but before he could get around the hood to do his gentlemanly act Billie was out of the car and standing looking up at the building.
He led her into the building, knowing Jay’s apartment number and so heading for the elevator and punching the button for Jay’s floor. When they reached the apartment Billie unlocked the door then turned to face Nick with a smile.
“Thanks, Nick. For the ride and for the……friendliness. I’ll maybe see you around.”
He blinked in surprise. That wasn’t quite how he’d seen this going. But, ever the optimist, and more than willing to bide his time - hell, wasn’t as though he was pushed for female company, his darling wife was waiting at home after all, and she was always available for a fuck if there wasn’t a better offer - he just smiled, reaching past her to drop Jay’s bag on the floor.
“You’re welcome, Billie. Here….” He handed her his business card. “That’s my cell number - gimme a call and I’ll take you out for that coffee. Probably see you at the hospital, too.”
Not that he’d intended spending much time there, but Billie’s gentle refusal of what hadn’t yet been suggested only piqued his interest. The chase was, after all, most of the fun for him. Once he caught - and bedded - his prey, the game was pretty well over. So he just relished the challenge as a sweetener to the inevitable victory. For now, he reached out and hugged her gently, Billie rubbing her hands on his back before they stepped apart again.
“I’ll see ya.” He winked, and left her there at the apartment door.
Billie watched him for a moment, then she stepped into the apartment and closed the door, almost immediately hit by the odour of stale pizza. Wrinkling her nose distastefully, she headed deeper into the apartment, leaving Jay’s bag where it lay for now.
An hour later, the apartment no longer smelled like the morning-after in a pizza restaurant, with the windows opened wide and the far more appealing smell of fresh coffee scenting the air. Billie had filled the washing machine - one thing she’d insisted on was that Jay should find somewhere he didn’t need to go use a communal laundry. Something about that scenario had always bugged her for some reason - no doubt down to her country-girl mentality - and he’d grudgingly acquiesced to her demand, though pointed out reasonably that he was a professional athlete - not a fresh-faced little girl leaving home. Billie had smiled, nodded……..and insisted.
While the first load of laundry swished around in the machine, she took a long, leisurely shower, letting the water ease her tension. Part of that tension, obviously, was due to Jay’s injury and the whole worry over that, but there was also a healthy dollop of stress over the sudden meeting with Jon, and her attempts to dissuade him from ruining his marriage over something that happened so long ago.
The crazy thing was, she loved him. Not in the way his wife did, certainly - Dorothea had the right to him, earned over a couple of decades of faithfulness and support - but Billie loved him for the son he’d given her. Loved him for the man he’d been when he was with her, and the man he’d become over the years. Loved him for his philanthropy……and, sure, hated him at times for ripping her guts out with his lyrics. Damn if loving that man didn’t complicate her life, but since the day he’d ridden away she’d been able to deal with it, knowing she’d never see him again, or if she did - when she had - he’d be up on stage, unreachable rockstar, and she’d be down in the crowd, just one more adoring face among thousands. She’d been to a few of the band’s concerts over the years, and when she’d seen him perform Dry County - she always thought of it as ‘her’ song - she’d been moved to tears every time, remembering that night so long ago when he’d penned the song, sitting half-naked on her couch.
Shaking off the flood of memories as she toweled herself dry, Billie went through to Jay’s bedroom and found her bag, pulling on the clean underwear and shirt, not bothering with jeans just yet as she went to fill a mug with the coffee which was now ready. She sipped at the strong brew as she emptied the laundry into the dryer, then she went to the bedroom again, stripping off the sheets so she could remake the bed for herself. Once all those horribly motherly things were done, his apartment clean and his bed freshly made, she pulled on her jeans and grabbed her purse. Looked like she’d be here a few days, so it probably made sense to go get some fresh clothes. And perhaps something pretty, if the handsome and attentive Nick was going to take her out somewhere.
“May as well catch up on his laundry while I’m here.” She muttered, hating to come across all ‘mom’, but unable to stop herself doing it.
Nick just grinned, waiting while she zipped the bag, then he took it from her and slung it over his shoulder, his hand again sliding easily onto her back to direct her movement.
“C’mon.” He said softly. “Pretty sure Coach won’t need me, but I should check.”
“Y’know, I can get a cab to Jay’s place.” Billie said as they headed toward the field, but Nick shook his head.
“Nope. I’ll drive you.” His eyes twinkled as he grinned at her. “Bet I can out-stubborn you.”
“I doubt that.” Billie smiled. “But okay - thanks for the ride.”
He bit back any comment he might make about repayment in kind, just nodding as they got to the field. After a quick word with Coach, verifying that he wasn’t needed, he came back to Billie’s side.
“Let’s go, then.” He turned away from the field, heading in a different direction as he went for the staff car park.
Billie waved to Coach and the players, who yelled goodbyes as they left, but Mike was watching Nick darkly, knowing the guy was married but also knowing him well enough to see his intentions toward the woman currently following him.
“Fuckin’ prick.” He muttered to nobody in particular. Maybe he’d take a trip out and visit Jay later.
Nick led Billie to a car which was pretty much what she’d expected of him - black and sleek, crouched in the parking lot like a half-tame beast. He dropped Jay’s bag into the trunk then frowned in confusion.
“Uh, where’s your stuff, Billie?”
“In here.” She hefted the oversized purse on her shoulder. “I was in a hurry to get here - just threw in a clean shirt and underwear.”
“Oh. Okay. Did you want me to stop somewhere so you can buy anything?”
“No, s’fine. Jay told me his apartment is near a decent mall - I’ll take a run out later. Right now I just need to shower.” She replied as Nick opened the car door and helped her in, closing the door before he murmured a response.
“I can work with the shower.” He mumbled to himself, trying to hide the smirk since he was trying to be all supportive and friendly right now.
Traffic was light, and Jay’s apartment wasn’t far away, so the trip didn’t even take ten minutes, Nick pulling into the adjacent parking lot and stopping the car.
“This is us.” He opened his door, but before he could get around the hood to do his gentlemanly act Billie was out of the car and standing looking up at the building.
He led her into the building, knowing Jay’s apartment number and so heading for the elevator and punching the button for Jay’s floor. When they reached the apartment Billie unlocked the door then turned to face Nick with a smile.
“Thanks, Nick. For the ride and for the……friendliness. I’ll maybe see you around.”
He blinked in surprise. That wasn’t quite how he’d seen this going. But, ever the optimist, and more than willing to bide his time - hell, wasn’t as though he was pushed for female company, his darling wife was waiting at home after all, and she was always available for a fuck if there wasn’t a better offer - he just smiled, reaching past her to drop Jay’s bag on the floor.
“You’re welcome, Billie. Here….” He handed her his business card. “That’s my cell number - gimme a call and I’ll take you out for that coffee. Probably see you at the hospital, too.”
Not that he’d intended spending much time there, but Billie’s gentle refusal of what hadn’t yet been suggested only piqued his interest. The chase was, after all, most of the fun for him. Once he caught - and bedded - his prey, the game was pretty well over. So he just relished the challenge as a sweetener to the inevitable victory. For now, he reached out and hugged her gently, Billie rubbing her hands on his back before they stepped apart again.
“I’ll see ya.” He winked, and left her there at the apartment door.
Billie watched him for a moment, then she stepped into the apartment and closed the door, almost immediately hit by the odour of stale pizza. Wrinkling her nose distastefully, she headed deeper into the apartment, leaving Jay’s bag where it lay for now.
An hour later, the apartment no longer smelled like the morning-after in a pizza restaurant, with the windows opened wide and the far more appealing smell of fresh coffee scenting the air. Billie had filled the washing machine - one thing she’d insisted on was that Jay should find somewhere he didn’t need to go use a communal laundry. Something about that scenario had always bugged her for some reason - no doubt down to her country-girl mentality - and he’d grudgingly acquiesced to her demand, though pointed out reasonably that he was a professional athlete - not a fresh-faced little girl leaving home. Billie had smiled, nodded……..and insisted.
While the first load of laundry swished around in the machine, she took a long, leisurely shower, letting the water ease her tension. Part of that tension, obviously, was due to Jay’s injury and the whole worry over that, but there was also a healthy dollop of stress over the sudden meeting with Jon, and her attempts to dissuade him from ruining his marriage over something that happened so long ago.
The crazy thing was, she loved him. Not in the way his wife did, certainly - Dorothea had the right to him, earned over a couple of decades of faithfulness and support - but Billie loved him for the son he’d given her. Loved him for the man he’d been when he was with her, and the man he’d become over the years. Loved him for his philanthropy……and, sure, hated him at times for ripping her guts out with his lyrics. Damn if loving that man didn’t complicate her life, but since the day he’d ridden away she’d been able to deal with it, knowing she’d never see him again, or if she did - when she had - he’d be up on stage, unreachable rockstar, and she’d be down in the crowd, just one more adoring face among thousands. She’d been to a few of the band’s concerts over the years, and when she’d seen him perform Dry County - she always thought of it as ‘her’ song - she’d been moved to tears every time, remembering that night so long ago when he’d penned the song, sitting half-naked on her couch.
Shaking off the flood of memories as she toweled herself dry, Billie went through to Jay’s bedroom and found her bag, pulling on the clean underwear and shirt, not bothering with jeans just yet as she went to fill a mug with the coffee which was now ready. She sipped at the strong brew as she emptied the laundry into the dryer, then she went to the bedroom again, stripping off the sheets so she could remake the bed for herself. Once all those horribly motherly things were done, his apartment clean and his bed freshly made, she pulled on her jeans and grabbed her purse. Looked like she’d be here a few days, so it probably made sense to go get some fresh clothes. And perhaps something pretty, if the handsome and attentive Nick was going to take her out somewhere.
Chapter 12
While Jay was flirting - pretty successfully - with his new friend Kadie, his mother was waiting patiently outside for her cab, and by the time she was in the back of the vehicle Jay was wincing theatrically as Kadie - so gently he barely felt it - drew blood from him for tests.
“Don’t I even get a lollipop?” He asked with a pout as she declared herself finished, and she laughed, liking this handsome young man a lot already.
“Sorry. Nope.”
“Damn.” He flicked her a wicked smirk. “What about something else for me to suck on?”
For just a moment, Kadie’s mouth fell open. Damn, but he was forward. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing - her last boyfriend had been undemonstrative to the point she didn’t know if he even cared about her - but it was refreshing. And of course he was a patient, dammit, so out of bounds for her.
Jay misread her silence, raising a hand apologetically.
“Sorry, Kadie. I guess sometimes I just don’t think before I speak.”
“S’okay.” She assured him, smiling again. “I could say that I thought it would be more my job. Sucking, I mean. But you’re a patient, Jay, so……”
“Professional ethics?” He asked, then when she nodded he pretended to yell. “Doc? I wanna sign myself outta here!”
“You’re a nut.” Kadie laughed, gathering up her vampire kit, stilling as Jay laid a gentle hand on hers.
“Don’t run off. Please.”
She made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and her professional detachment wobbled, especially when she saw the edges of his eyes crinkle in a smile. Jay saw her interest and instinctively knew not to quit pushing.
“I won’t always be a patient, though, right?” He said with a smile.
“Guess not.” Kadie fought her impulse to turn her hand under his, to grip his fingers like she wanted to. Well, not completely accurate. She wanted to kiss him. Wanted to feel those fingers on her skin - and she wasn’t thinking of her hand - but right now it just couldn’t happen. “You could always give me a call, when you break outta here.”
“Give me your number.” He said instantly, and she smiled at his enthusiastic response, reaching for a pen.
Jay offered her the book he was reading and she scribbled her name and cell number onto the flyleaf. Taking the pen from her, Jay ripped off the bottom half of the page - Kadie wincing at the unthinking damage to the book - and he wrote his own name and number, offering her the paper with her pen.
“You know I’ll be calling as soon as I get outta here, right?” He grinned, and she giggled.
“I may even answer.” She teased. “Now I gotta go do some work.”
“A vampire’s work is never done, huh?” Jay smirked, catching her hand and pulling her toward him, but Kadie’s initial concern that he’d try to kiss her wasn’t quite accurate, as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the smooth skin. A chivalrous move that was almost more destructive than anything else would have been right now.
“I’ll bite you later.” She promised as she drew away, and Jay watched happily as she carefully folded his number into her pocket before leaving the room.
Sighing contentedly, he laid his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes to enjoy visions of the young nurse. Visions of her clad in far less than the uniform he’d just seen.
Billie’s ride to Wachovia was straightforward, but she found more difficulty when she got inside the building, wandering lost until she was stopped by a member of staff.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a practice day.” The guy explained. “No spectators allowed.”
“I’m not……” She sighed. Why did she have the feeling this could take a while? “I’m not here to watch. I’m looking for……Coach? Is it Munsey?”
“Coach is here, ma’am, but he’s busy. Is he expecting you?”
“Uh, no. I’m Billie Kelsall. Jay’s mother?”
The guy gave her a sceptical look, and Billie cursed the genes that had kept her looking younger than her years, seeing the guy’s disbelief that she could be Jay’s mother. She couldn’t think what to do, then remembered Jay’s snipe about Nick recognising her. What the hell - it was worth a shot.
“Okay. Is Nick….” She dredged her memory for the surname. “Nick Fabian around? Could you find him for me?”
With a weary sigh the staffer nodded. He could see this woman wasn’t for going anywhere, so maybe Nick could get rid of her.
“Wait here, please, ma’am.” He said, pointing to a bench against the wall. “I’ll see if he’s available.”
Billie perched obediently on the bench to wait, and it was only a few minutes before she heard the slightly familiar voice of the physiotherapist.
“Billie?” He walked swiftly toward her, clear worry on his face. “Is everything okay?”
“What?” She realised he must think Jay’s condition had deteriorated, and she raised a reassuring hand. “Sorry! Everything’s fine with Jay, Nick. He told me to come here, to get his apartment keys? Said they should still be in his locker.”
“Oh!” Nick nodded. “All his stuff’s still there. Does he need something?”
“Not exactly. I do. I didn’t book anywhere to stay, and he said since his place is empty……” She laughed. “I think he just wants me to clean up for him.”
Nick shut off the immediate image that flashed into his head, of Billie in a French maid’s outfit of short black dress and white frilly apron. Or perhaps just the apron and a pair of killer heels. Forcing it away, he offered a hand to pull her to her feet.
“Come on. I’ll introduce you to Coach, then we can grab Jay’s keys for you.”
She followed him along the hallways to the field, a little uncomfortable as he kept hold of her hand the whole way, but he dropped his grip just before they reached the field, instead laying his palm on her back. Her lower back. A fraction off her ass.
“Coach?” Nick said loudly as they approached, and a dark-haired guy turned around, his apparent youth surprising Billie.
“Yeah, Nick?” Munsey frowned in surprise at the brunette with Fabian. Whoever she was, it certainly wasn’t Fabian’s wife.
“Hey, Coach, I’d like you to meet Billie. Billie Kelsall.” Nick saw the confusion on Munsey’s face and he explained. “Jay’s mom?”
“Jay’s mom?” Munsey looked her over quickly. Damn, but she didn’t look old enough. Strange, too, because in a way he’d assumed Jay’s mother would have the same blue eyes. Must be from his father. His musings had left him silent for a moment, and he shook it off, offering a hand. “Sorry. I was miles away. Bret Munsey. Nice to meet you…..Mrs Kelsall.”
There was a question in the name, and Billie shook her head as she shook his hand.
“It’s Miss. But Billie’s fine, Bret.”
Nick wondered whether he should explain to her that ‘everybody’ called Coach, well, Coach, but his boss just nodded and grinned at the brunette.
“So how is he?”
“He’s good, thanks. He actually sent me here to get his apartment keys, since I’ve nowhere to stay tonight.”
“Sure. I’ll get someone to open his locker for you.”
Munsey became aware of the low murmur of voices from the field, and when he looked across he saw his players huddled together, obviously discussing the newcomer. He sighed. Typical players - show them a pretty face and concentration was out the window. But was he any better? Either way, he lifted a hand, waving them over. When they were crowded in front of him, he gestured to Billie.
“Boys - this is Billie. Jay’s mom.”
Billie was starting to get pissed at all the stunned looks. For God’s sake - it wasn’t like she looked like a teenager! Before she could get too mad, though, one of the players stepped forward to offer his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs…..”
“It’s Billie.” She interrupted firmly. “Billie’s just fine.”
“Okay. Billie.” The guy’s face brightened in a happy grin. “I’m Mike. Mike Brown.”
“Jay’s mentioned you.” Billie smiled, and he looked pleased.
“All the good stuff I hope.” He joked as he let go of her hand.
The rest of the players introduced themselves - some with handshakes, some just saying hi. It was the tall quarterback, Tony, who surprised her, as he folded his arms around her in a hug, whispering in her ear so she reached up to pat his back as he said he knew how Jay must be feeling, as he’d taken a tackle like that years before. The hug was interrupted by Coach’s voice.
“C’mon guys. Let’s get back to work.” He snapped, downtime over, and the players immediately got back into work-mode, heading out onto the field as Coach turned to Billie. “Nick can get you Jay’s keys, Billie. Nice to meet you. Tell the kid we’re all asking after him, ‘kay?”
“I will, Bret. And thank you.”
Knowing it was ‘safe’, since all the players were on the field, Nick led Billie down a tunnel and into the locker room, a clearly male preserve. There was the unmistakable smell of sweat - male sweat - underlaid by the smell of cleaning fluid and cologne. Not exactly an unpleasant mix, but certainly one which was unique to locker rooms.
Nick led her over to the bank of lockers, stopping at the one which bore Jay’s name, then he pulled open the door - none of the lockers had padlocks attached - and looked inside. The keys hung on a hook just inside, and as he reached for them, pushing the door wider, he heard a tiny whimper from Billie. Turning around, he saw tears trickling down her face, and he laid his hands on her shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, and she shook her head, trying to fight it back.
“Nothing. I just……” She pointed into the locker, where Jay had stuck a photo of her and him together on horseback. “I just realised how close I came to losing him. He’s all I have.”
Pulling her close, Nick hugged her comfortingly. Comforting wasn’t what he had in mind for this lady, but it was always a good way in, pretending to care, when all he really cared about was getting between her legs. Billie leaned into him, her arms around his waist as she took the reassuring comfort he was offering, reading no more into the gesture, and not seeing the satisfied smirk on Nick’s face.
After a few minutes, she drew away, wiping a palm over her face to dry the tears.
“Thank you.” She whispered, and Nick just nodded.
“My pleasure.” He paused just long enough. “Really.”
Without saying any more, he turned to get the keys from the locker and closed the door, offering the keys to Billie.
“C’mon.” He suggested. “I’ll make sure Coach doesn’t need me, then I can give you a ride to Jay’s place.”
“Don’t I even get a lollipop?” He asked with a pout as she declared herself finished, and she laughed, liking this handsome young man a lot already.
“Sorry. Nope.”
“Damn.” He flicked her a wicked smirk. “What about something else for me to suck on?”
For just a moment, Kadie’s mouth fell open. Damn, but he was forward. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing - her last boyfriend had been undemonstrative to the point she didn’t know if he even cared about her - but it was refreshing. And of course he was a patient, dammit, so out of bounds for her.
Jay misread her silence, raising a hand apologetically.
“Sorry, Kadie. I guess sometimes I just don’t think before I speak.”
“S’okay.” She assured him, smiling again. “I could say that I thought it would be more my job. Sucking, I mean. But you’re a patient, Jay, so……”
“Professional ethics?” He asked, then when she nodded he pretended to yell. “Doc? I wanna sign myself outta here!”
“You’re a nut.” Kadie laughed, gathering up her vampire kit, stilling as Jay laid a gentle hand on hers.
“Don’t run off. Please.”
She made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and her professional detachment wobbled, especially when she saw the edges of his eyes crinkle in a smile. Jay saw her interest and instinctively knew not to quit pushing.
“I won’t always be a patient, though, right?” He said with a smile.
“Guess not.” Kadie fought her impulse to turn her hand under his, to grip his fingers like she wanted to. Well, not completely accurate. She wanted to kiss him. Wanted to feel those fingers on her skin - and she wasn’t thinking of her hand - but right now it just couldn’t happen. “You could always give me a call, when you break outta here.”
“Give me your number.” He said instantly, and she smiled at his enthusiastic response, reaching for a pen.
Jay offered her the book he was reading and she scribbled her name and cell number onto the flyleaf. Taking the pen from her, Jay ripped off the bottom half of the page - Kadie wincing at the unthinking damage to the book - and he wrote his own name and number, offering her the paper with her pen.
“You know I’ll be calling as soon as I get outta here, right?” He grinned, and she giggled.
“I may even answer.” She teased. “Now I gotta go do some work.”
“A vampire’s work is never done, huh?” Jay smirked, catching her hand and pulling her toward him, but Kadie’s initial concern that he’d try to kiss her wasn’t quite accurate, as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the smooth skin. A chivalrous move that was almost more destructive than anything else would have been right now.
“I’ll bite you later.” She promised as she drew away, and Jay watched happily as she carefully folded his number into her pocket before leaving the room.
Sighing contentedly, he laid his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes to enjoy visions of the young nurse. Visions of her clad in far less than the uniform he’d just seen.
Billie’s ride to Wachovia was straightforward, but she found more difficulty when she got inside the building, wandering lost until she was stopped by a member of staff.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a practice day.” The guy explained. “No spectators allowed.”
“I’m not……” She sighed. Why did she have the feeling this could take a while? “I’m not here to watch. I’m looking for……Coach? Is it Munsey?”
“Coach is here, ma’am, but he’s busy. Is he expecting you?”
“Uh, no. I’m Billie Kelsall. Jay’s mother?”
The guy gave her a sceptical look, and Billie cursed the genes that had kept her looking younger than her years, seeing the guy’s disbelief that she could be Jay’s mother. She couldn’t think what to do, then remembered Jay’s snipe about Nick recognising her. What the hell - it was worth a shot.
“Okay. Is Nick….” She dredged her memory for the surname. “Nick Fabian around? Could you find him for me?”
With a weary sigh the staffer nodded. He could see this woman wasn’t for going anywhere, so maybe Nick could get rid of her.
“Wait here, please, ma’am.” He said, pointing to a bench against the wall. “I’ll see if he’s available.”
Billie perched obediently on the bench to wait, and it was only a few minutes before she heard the slightly familiar voice of the physiotherapist.
“Billie?” He walked swiftly toward her, clear worry on his face. “Is everything okay?”
“What?” She realised he must think Jay’s condition had deteriorated, and she raised a reassuring hand. “Sorry! Everything’s fine with Jay, Nick. He told me to come here, to get his apartment keys? Said they should still be in his locker.”
“Oh!” Nick nodded. “All his stuff’s still there. Does he need something?”
“Not exactly. I do. I didn’t book anywhere to stay, and he said since his place is empty……” She laughed. “I think he just wants me to clean up for him.”
Nick shut off the immediate image that flashed into his head, of Billie in a French maid’s outfit of short black dress and white frilly apron. Or perhaps just the apron and a pair of killer heels. Forcing it away, he offered a hand to pull her to her feet.
“Come on. I’ll introduce you to Coach, then we can grab Jay’s keys for you.”
She followed him along the hallways to the field, a little uncomfortable as he kept hold of her hand the whole way, but he dropped his grip just before they reached the field, instead laying his palm on her back. Her lower back. A fraction off her ass.
“Coach?” Nick said loudly as they approached, and a dark-haired guy turned around, his apparent youth surprising Billie.
“Yeah, Nick?” Munsey frowned in surprise at the brunette with Fabian. Whoever she was, it certainly wasn’t Fabian’s wife.
“Hey, Coach, I’d like you to meet Billie. Billie Kelsall.” Nick saw the confusion on Munsey’s face and he explained. “Jay’s mom?”
“Jay’s mom?” Munsey looked her over quickly. Damn, but she didn’t look old enough. Strange, too, because in a way he’d assumed Jay’s mother would have the same blue eyes. Must be from his father. His musings had left him silent for a moment, and he shook it off, offering a hand. “Sorry. I was miles away. Bret Munsey. Nice to meet you…..Mrs Kelsall.”
There was a question in the name, and Billie shook her head as she shook his hand.
“It’s Miss. But Billie’s fine, Bret.”
Nick wondered whether he should explain to her that ‘everybody’ called Coach, well, Coach, but his boss just nodded and grinned at the brunette.
“So how is he?”
“He’s good, thanks. He actually sent me here to get his apartment keys, since I’ve nowhere to stay tonight.”
“Sure. I’ll get someone to open his locker for you.”
Munsey became aware of the low murmur of voices from the field, and when he looked across he saw his players huddled together, obviously discussing the newcomer. He sighed. Typical players - show them a pretty face and concentration was out the window. But was he any better? Either way, he lifted a hand, waving them over. When they were crowded in front of him, he gestured to Billie.
“Boys - this is Billie. Jay’s mom.”
Billie was starting to get pissed at all the stunned looks. For God’s sake - it wasn’t like she looked like a teenager! Before she could get too mad, though, one of the players stepped forward to offer his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs…..”
“It’s Billie.” She interrupted firmly. “Billie’s just fine.”
“Okay. Billie.” The guy’s face brightened in a happy grin. “I’m Mike. Mike Brown.”
“Jay’s mentioned you.” Billie smiled, and he looked pleased.
“All the good stuff I hope.” He joked as he let go of her hand.
The rest of the players introduced themselves - some with handshakes, some just saying hi. It was the tall quarterback, Tony, who surprised her, as he folded his arms around her in a hug, whispering in her ear so she reached up to pat his back as he said he knew how Jay must be feeling, as he’d taken a tackle like that years before. The hug was interrupted by Coach’s voice.
“C’mon guys. Let’s get back to work.” He snapped, downtime over, and the players immediately got back into work-mode, heading out onto the field as Coach turned to Billie. “Nick can get you Jay’s keys, Billie. Nice to meet you. Tell the kid we’re all asking after him, ‘kay?”
“I will, Bret. And thank you.”
Knowing it was ‘safe’, since all the players were on the field, Nick led Billie down a tunnel and into the locker room, a clearly male preserve. There was the unmistakable smell of sweat - male sweat - underlaid by the smell of cleaning fluid and cologne. Not exactly an unpleasant mix, but certainly one which was unique to locker rooms.
Nick led her over to the bank of lockers, stopping at the one which bore Jay’s name, then he pulled open the door - none of the lockers had padlocks attached - and looked inside. The keys hung on a hook just inside, and as he reached for them, pushing the door wider, he heard a tiny whimper from Billie. Turning around, he saw tears trickling down her face, and he laid his hands on her shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, and she shook her head, trying to fight it back.
“Nothing. I just……” She pointed into the locker, where Jay had stuck a photo of her and him together on horseback. “I just realised how close I came to losing him. He’s all I have.”
Pulling her close, Nick hugged her comfortingly. Comforting wasn’t what he had in mind for this lady, but it was always a good way in, pretending to care, when all he really cared about was getting between her legs. Billie leaned into him, her arms around his waist as she took the reassuring comfort he was offering, reading no more into the gesture, and not seeing the satisfied smirk on Nick’s face.
After a few minutes, she drew away, wiping a palm over her face to dry the tears.
“Thank you.” She whispered, and Nick just nodded.
“My pleasure.” He paused just long enough. “Really.”
Without saying any more, he turned to get the keys from the locker and closed the door, offering the keys to Billie.
“C’mon.” He suggested. “I’ll make sure Coach doesn’t need me, then I can give you a ride to Jay’s place.”
Chapter 11
Nick spent a little while visiting with Jay - and his mom - with his trained eye seeing no obvious lingering problems from Jay’s injury. Looked like the kid was lucky and had gotten away with just a brief concussion, which meant he should be fit to get back in the game in a few weeks. Of course, the other lucky thing about this whole episode was that it had brought Mrs Kelsall - Billie - into the equation, he thought, and he set himself to carefully and subtly get into her good graces. Only as a way to get into her panties.
Billie would have been a liar if she’d said that the gentle attention of the handsome physio wasn’t enjoyable, but right now most of her attention was focused on her son, watching him closely as he chatted with the other man. After a little while, she excused herself, leaving them to talk while she went in search of coffee - an addiction that hadn’t waned over the years - and Nick watched her go with a speculative eye.
Lying back in the hospital bed, Jay’s eyes narrowed as he watched Nick. Like all of the guys in the team, he was well aware of Nick’s reputation for loving and leaving - or cumming and going as Mabry had put it one day - and he didn’t particularly want to see his mom on the receiving end. Before he could find the right words to warn him off, though, Jay watched his mom walk back into the room, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand.
“You must be desperate if you’re drinking that.” He joked, and Billie wrinkled her nose as she took a sip.
“Pretty much. At least it’s caffeine.”
“When Jay gets out of here, I’ll take you to the best coffee shop in Philly.” Nick promised with a winning smile, and Billie looked at him for a moment before smiling back.
“I’ll maybe take you up on that.” She said.
In the bed, Jay ground his teeth in a way so like his father, Billie recognising it and hiding a smile. Somehow, until she’d met Jon again, she hadn’t realised, or remembered, just how many of his mannerisms came from Jon, but now she could see the man in the boy. Boy? She thought suddenly. Wasn’t really appropriate any more. Her little boy was almost out of his teens, a professional athlete and becoming more independent with every passing week. Becoming stronger, too, which could only be a good thing with what lay ahead of him.
She realised that she’d fallen silent, gazing blindly at the white cover of the bed, and she raised her eyes to meet those of her son.
“Sorry.” She said softly. “I was miles away.”
“As I should be.” Nick said as he glanced at his watch, standing swiftly. “You may be able to get out of training, with the pathetic excuse of being in hospital, but Coach’ll kick my ass if I’m late to the session.”
Jay laughed. “Yeah, well, trust me - I’d rather be at training than lying here.”
“I’m sure you would.” Nick nodded. “Just enjoy having your mom here to look after you. I know I would.”
“Would what?” Jay snapped, and Nick backed off a little for now, raising his hands pacifically.
“I’d enjoy having my mom look after me if I was sick.” He turned a wink on Billie. “I turn into a little boy again when I’m sick, and all I want is my mom to come tuck me in.”
“Don’t all men?” Billie smirked, offering her hand to be shaken.
“I guess we do.” Nick agreed, shaking hands, then just slapping a hand on Jay’s shoulder. “I’ll see ya, Jay.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
The blue of Jay’s eyes followed Nick as he left the room, and Billie could feel the ice washing from them as he stared after the physio. Seemed like her son was as protective of his family as his father was. As he still stared at the now-empty doorway, she reached to flick her fingers against his bare arm.
“Hey! Remember me?” She joked.
“Sorry, mom.” Jay turned his attention back to her with that soft, smirky smile. “I was miles away.”
“I noticed.” Billie checked the time. Although he seemed okay, the nurses had asked her to not over-tire Jay, suggesting that she leave after an hour or so, and maybe come back later. Worked for her, because she still needed to find somewhere to stay, having just jumped on the first plane to Philadelphia without any real plans. “I should go, Jay. The nurse told me to not get you too tired, and I don’t have anywhere to stay yet.”
“My apartment’s empty.” Jay said immediately. “The keys will still be at Wachovia, I guess.”
“And how messy is it at your apartment?” Billie checked.
“Not too bad.” He shrugged. “I don’t really remember. When I went to play, I wasn’t intending sleeping at the hospital.”
“I could get a cab to Wachovia, I guess.” Billie mused. “Would they give me your keys?”
“Don’t see why not. Nick will recognise you for sure.” His eyes clouded a little. “He spent enough time staring at you….”
“Hey!” Billie flicked his arm again.
“Sorry. Yes, I’m sure they’ll give you the keys. If they say no, get hold of Coach and have him call me here, I’ll confirm that you’re…..you!”
“Okay.” Billie stood, gathing up her jacket and purse then leaning in to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be back later…….unless you’re expecting anyone else? Your girlfriend?”
“Nice try, mom.” Jay laughed. “I told you already I’m not seeing anyone. But the boss said he might stop by again. So cool that he visited!”
“Who? Your coach?” Billie didn’t realise who ‘the boss’ was, until Jay explained.
“No. Coach is just ‘Coach’. The boss is your favorite man…….Jon Bon Jovi.”
“Oh.” Billie flushed, Jay fortunately taking it just as embarrassment at finally meeting - again - her favorite singer. “Well, if he stops by you can tell him I said hi.”
“You mean I’ve not to tell him you’ve been in love with him for years?” Her son teased, and Billie bit on her lip. He was so much closer to the truth than he’d ever understand.
“No! Just behave yourself!” She grinned. “Okay. I’ll see you later, Jay. And please try to not hit on the nurses too much. They’re all kinda giggly over the whole ‘injured football star’ thing.”
“Oh, mom! I’m not a star!” Jay protested, and she ruffled his hair in a way she knew would irritate the hell out of him.
“You are to me.”
As Jay rolled his eyes, Billie grinned at him and walked out of the room, and as she disappeared he slumped back against the pillows. He’d never tell her, but her visit had taken a lot more out of him than he’d have ever expected, and his head and neck ached viciously. Not really surprising, he guessed, since he’d been given a blow-by-blow account of the Dallas tackle by his team-mates and knew that he’d been hit by a player, not a Mack truck. Still felt like the truck though.
He’d just closed his eyes when he heard a soft footstep, the unmistakable sound of a nurse’s shoes on the vinyl floor, and he opened his eyes to see a pretty redhead bearing a tray.
“I’m hoping that’s dinner?” Jay asked, grinning at her, the grin widening further as she blushed and shook her head.
“Sorry.” She lowered the tray so he could see the needles and tubes for taking blood. “I’m the vampire squad.”
“You can bite me any time you like, darlin’.” He purred, his interest piqued by her, and he pushed himself a little more upright in the bed.
“Later.” She winked, now past the initial blushing as she reached for his arm. “First I gotta work.”
“Well at least tell me your name?” His blue eyes were as seductive as his father’s, drawing her in and holding her there.
“Kadie.”
“Katie?” Jay asked, thinking he’d misheard, but she shook her head, the light bouncing off her hair making him wonder just how long that mane would be when it was released from the surgically-tight knot.
“No. Kadie. With a ‘d’.” She shrugged. “It’s really my initials. Kay and dee. My parents, for some reason only they know, decided to name me Karenza Desiree, which is just……ugh.”
Jay repeated the name silently to himself, then shook his head. “I think it’s beautiful.”
Billie would have been a liar if she’d said that the gentle attention of the handsome physio wasn’t enjoyable, but right now most of her attention was focused on her son, watching him closely as he chatted with the other man. After a little while, she excused herself, leaving them to talk while she went in search of coffee - an addiction that hadn’t waned over the years - and Nick watched her go with a speculative eye.
Lying back in the hospital bed, Jay’s eyes narrowed as he watched Nick. Like all of the guys in the team, he was well aware of Nick’s reputation for loving and leaving - or cumming and going as Mabry had put it one day - and he didn’t particularly want to see his mom on the receiving end. Before he could find the right words to warn him off, though, Jay watched his mom walk back into the room, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand.
“You must be desperate if you’re drinking that.” He joked, and Billie wrinkled her nose as she took a sip.
“Pretty much. At least it’s caffeine.”
“When Jay gets out of here, I’ll take you to the best coffee shop in Philly.” Nick promised with a winning smile, and Billie looked at him for a moment before smiling back.
“I’ll maybe take you up on that.” She said.
In the bed, Jay ground his teeth in a way so like his father, Billie recognising it and hiding a smile. Somehow, until she’d met Jon again, she hadn’t realised, or remembered, just how many of his mannerisms came from Jon, but now she could see the man in the boy. Boy? She thought suddenly. Wasn’t really appropriate any more. Her little boy was almost out of his teens, a professional athlete and becoming more independent with every passing week. Becoming stronger, too, which could only be a good thing with what lay ahead of him.
She realised that she’d fallen silent, gazing blindly at the white cover of the bed, and she raised her eyes to meet those of her son.
“Sorry.” She said softly. “I was miles away.”
“As I should be.” Nick said as he glanced at his watch, standing swiftly. “You may be able to get out of training, with the pathetic excuse of being in hospital, but Coach’ll kick my ass if I’m late to the session.”
Jay laughed. “Yeah, well, trust me - I’d rather be at training than lying here.”
“I’m sure you would.” Nick nodded. “Just enjoy having your mom here to look after you. I know I would.”
“Would what?” Jay snapped, and Nick backed off a little for now, raising his hands pacifically.
“I’d enjoy having my mom look after me if I was sick.” He turned a wink on Billie. “I turn into a little boy again when I’m sick, and all I want is my mom to come tuck me in.”
“Don’t all men?” Billie smirked, offering her hand to be shaken.
“I guess we do.” Nick agreed, shaking hands, then just slapping a hand on Jay’s shoulder. “I’ll see ya, Jay.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
The blue of Jay’s eyes followed Nick as he left the room, and Billie could feel the ice washing from them as he stared after the physio. Seemed like her son was as protective of his family as his father was. As he still stared at the now-empty doorway, she reached to flick her fingers against his bare arm.
“Hey! Remember me?” She joked.
“Sorry, mom.” Jay turned his attention back to her with that soft, smirky smile. “I was miles away.”
“I noticed.” Billie checked the time. Although he seemed okay, the nurses had asked her to not over-tire Jay, suggesting that she leave after an hour or so, and maybe come back later. Worked for her, because she still needed to find somewhere to stay, having just jumped on the first plane to Philadelphia without any real plans. “I should go, Jay. The nurse told me to not get you too tired, and I don’t have anywhere to stay yet.”
“My apartment’s empty.” Jay said immediately. “The keys will still be at Wachovia, I guess.”
“And how messy is it at your apartment?” Billie checked.
“Not too bad.” He shrugged. “I don’t really remember. When I went to play, I wasn’t intending sleeping at the hospital.”
“I could get a cab to Wachovia, I guess.” Billie mused. “Would they give me your keys?”
“Don’t see why not. Nick will recognise you for sure.” His eyes clouded a little. “He spent enough time staring at you….”
“Hey!” Billie flicked his arm again.
“Sorry. Yes, I’m sure they’ll give you the keys. If they say no, get hold of Coach and have him call me here, I’ll confirm that you’re…..you!”
“Okay.” Billie stood, gathing up her jacket and purse then leaning in to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be back later…….unless you’re expecting anyone else? Your girlfriend?”
“Nice try, mom.” Jay laughed. “I told you already I’m not seeing anyone. But the boss said he might stop by again. So cool that he visited!”
“Who? Your coach?” Billie didn’t realise who ‘the boss’ was, until Jay explained.
“No. Coach is just ‘Coach’. The boss is your favorite man…….Jon Bon Jovi.”
“Oh.” Billie flushed, Jay fortunately taking it just as embarrassment at finally meeting - again - her favorite singer. “Well, if he stops by you can tell him I said hi.”
“You mean I’ve not to tell him you’ve been in love with him for years?” Her son teased, and Billie bit on her lip. He was so much closer to the truth than he’d ever understand.
“No! Just behave yourself!” She grinned. “Okay. I’ll see you later, Jay. And please try to not hit on the nurses too much. They’re all kinda giggly over the whole ‘injured football star’ thing.”
“Oh, mom! I’m not a star!” Jay protested, and she ruffled his hair in a way she knew would irritate the hell out of him.
“You are to me.”
As Jay rolled his eyes, Billie grinned at him and walked out of the room, and as she disappeared he slumped back against the pillows. He’d never tell her, but her visit had taken a lot more out of him than he’d have ever expected, and his head and neck ached viciously. Not really surprising, he guessed, since he’d been given a blow-by-blow account of the Dallas tackle by his team-mates and knew that he’d been hit by a player, not a Mack truck. Still felt like the truck though.
He’d just closed his eyes when he heard a soft footstep, the unmistakable sound of a nurse’s shoes on the vinyl floor, and he opened his eyes to see a pretty redhead bearing a tray.
“I’m hoping that’s dinner?” Jay asked, grinning at her, the grin widening further as she blushed and shook her head.
“Sorry.” She lowered the tray so he could see the needles and tubes for taking blood. “I’m the vampire squad.”
“You can bite me any time you like, darlin’.” He purred, his interest piqued by her, and he pushed himself a little more upright in the bed.
“Later.” She winked, now past the initial blushing as she reached for his arm. “First I gotta work.”
“Well at least tell me your name?” His blue eyes were as seductive as his father’s, drawing her in and holding her there.
“Kadie.”
“Katie?” Jay asked, thinking he’d misheard, but she shook her head, the light bouncing off her hair making him wonder just how long that mane would be when it was released from the surgically-tight knot.
“No. Kadie. With a ‘d’.” She shrugged. “It’s really my initials. Kay and dee. My parents, for some reason only they know, decided to name me Karenza Desiree, which is just……ugh.”
Jay repeated the name silently to himself, then shook his head. “I think it’s beautiful.”
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Chapter 10
Fortunately for all concerned, the door to Jay’s private bathroom was shielded from his view by a partly folded screen, so he didn’t realise Jon and his mother had both emerged from the bathroom. Jon and Richie gave the pair a few minutes, then entered the main part of the room as though they’d entered from outside.
“Hey!” Jon grinned, doing his best to hide the sentimental expression he was sure he had. “Look who’s awake! You gave us a scare, buddy.”
“Boss?” Jay pushed himself a little more upright, surprised to see Jon - and Richie - here to visit. He turned to Billie, seeing the blush on her face, but misunderstanding it, knowing she was a huge fan. “Mom - have you met…….?”
“Yeah, we’ve met.” Jon grinned, covering for Billie before she could speak. “I was talking with your mom outside when Richie came to find us. Good to see you looking better, Jay.”
“Feel like I got hit with a Mack truck.” The youngster admitted, gingerly rocking his head back and forth. “But the doc said we won?”
“Jay!” Billie blurted, shocked that his instant thought was of the game, but both Jon and Richie laughed at his enthusiasm.
“Oh, yeah. We won.” Richie smirked. “Dallas ate shit, buddy.” He flashed a glance at Billie. “Sorry, ma’am.”
“Ma’am?” Billie echoed, then shook her head. “My name’s Billie.”
“Okay, Billie.” Richie nodded, and she could see in his eyes that there was a mild acceptance of what she and Jon were working through right now. Could see that this guy would protect his friend no matter what. Which might be useful, since at the moment she was trying to protect Jon from himself.
“We should leave you two alone.” Jon said softly, slapping Jay’s foot through the blanket. “Get well, son - Graz came off the bench to kick Dallas’ asses, but we need you out there, Jay.”
Billie had blanched when he said ‘son’, but the way it was said left Jay to believe that it was no more an endearment than the usual ‘buddy’ or ‘boy’, accepting the word at face value. Jon nodded politely to Billie as he backed away from the bed.
“I’ll maybe see you around…..Billie. Nice talking with you.”
“You too, Jon.” She said, her eyes thanking him more than she could in words right now.
With waves and grins, the two rockstars left the hospital room, Billie gazing after them - after Jon - for a moment before returning her attention to her son, perturbed by the penetrating gaze of his blue eyes.
“What?” Billie said a little uncomfortably. The bright blue of his eyes was too close to Jon’s right now.
“Nothing, mom.” He smirked. Damn if the smirk wasn’t his father’s, too, she thought. “I’m just surprised is all.”
“Why?”
“All my life, you’ve been this massive Bon Jovi fan, but now you meet them - him - and it’s like no big deal. What gives?”
“What gives…..” She looked right into those eyes, praying he wasn’t able to read her as easily as his father could. “…..is that right now I’m more worried about you. Maybe this was the perfect time for me to meet Jon again - I’m too concerned about you to be nervous of it.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you knew him already.” Jay said with a tiny frown.
“Huh?!” Billie’s panic flared, but quickly subsided as he continued with an embarrassed smile.
“When I came up here, for the tryouts, I kinda, well, stole a photograph of yours, mom.”
“A photograph?”
“Yeah. I found it in the loft one day - it was of you and him - Jon - years ago. You’d never mentioned meeting him.”
“I hadn’t? I probably had, but you just didn’t remember.” Billie mentally crossed her fingers, then tried to divert his thoughts. “And why did you steal the photograph?”
“Well, I knew you were a really big fan, and when I found the photo I thought it’d be cool to get him to sign it, if he was at the tryouts.”
Billie looked away, realising now how Jon had found out, and wondering how in the hell he’d managed to keep his composure when he realised the teenager in front of him was his flesh and blood. Wondering even more how he’d managed to keep the knowledge - or at least the strong suspicion - to himself for these months since Jay had joined the team. Beginning to get just a little angry now at his holier-than-thou attitude over her keeping the secret when, apparently, he’d been doing just that for months.
She swallowed the irritation, though. Who was being holier-than-thou, now? She smiled at her son, unbelievably glad to see his eyes clear and bright, absolutely no signs of any kind of lasting trauma from the injury. Jay grinned at her, then his smile faltered as tears welled in her eyes.
“Mom?” He reached for her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She smiled bravely, moving across to hug him tightly. “I was just so worried, baby. So worried you wouldn’t wake up.”
“Aw, mom!” Jay wrapped an arm over her - the arm that wasn’t attached to an IV - and hugged her close.
After a moment, though, Billie straightened away from him. All his life, Jay had never doubted she loved him, but she wasn’t a hugely touchy-feely mom - and because of it her hugs meant more than his school buddies whose moms were always hugging and kissing and fussing. His mom had made him self-reliant, yet she’d never made him feel unloved - a rare skill, he realised as he grew older, and a skill he blessed her for every day, because it had made him the man he was becoming.
Billie looked at him, gently brushing his hair back from his face, and when Jay gave her that familiar smirk again, she leaned down, hugging him once more. He laid his arm over her, returning the embrace, and Billie was bent over the bed when they heard an exaggerated cough from over by the door.
“Uh, is this a bad time?” Came a voice Jay recognised, a hint of a laugh lurking there. “Should I leave you two to…..”
Straightening away from her son, Billie turned with an embarrassed half-smile, turning to face the dark haired, dark eyed man standing by the door holding a bundle of envelopes. From the way his eyes suddenly flicked upward, she had a pretty good idea he’d been staring at her denim-clad ass.
“Nick!” Jay said with a grin, reaching out a hand, and the guy walked across with an apologetic smile to Billie, taking the younger guy’s hand in a strong grip.
“How you doin’, kid?” He asked, looking at Jay with a professional eye. “You’re lookin’ good.”
“I feel it.” Jay nodded, and Nick chuckled, glancing at Billie.
“Hey, I’d feel pretty good if I had a pretty lady like this holding me.”
Jay’s eyes clouded, turning that stormy blue Billie had seen in Jon’s eyes earlier. A deep color that heralded anger, and the clenched jaw was another hint of his father. She stepped forward, holding out a hand and speaking, defusing the situation before her son lost his temper.
“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Billie - Jay’s mother.”
“His……?” Nick looked from Billie to Jay, seeing the nod. Also seeing the tense line of the player’s jaw. “Sorry. I just assumed……”
“It’s okay.” Billie smiled, a cautioning glance thrown at Jay. “I guess I should be flattered. Sorry, you’re……..”
Jay remembered his manners, gesturing from one to the other.
“Sorry. Mom, this is Nick. Nick Fabian, our team physiotherapist. Nick, my mom, Billie Kelsall.”
“Nice to meet you.” Nick said, taking Billie’s hand, his fingers lingering on hers a millisecond longer than necessary, both of them aware of the tingle of electricity.
Of course, Nick was also aware of the fact that Jay’s father was never mentioned, never named in any of his files, so he was pretty sure the lady in front of him was there for the taking. And he was never a man to stand idly by when an attractive woman was there for the taking. Taking, of course, was his main interest. Keeping, well, that was something entirely different. Something other guys did.
“Hey!” Jon grinned, doing his best to hide the sentimental expression he was sure he had. “Look who’s awake! You gave us a scare, buddy.”
“Boss?” Jay pushed himself a little more upright, surprised to see Jon - and Richie - here to visit. He turned to Billie, seeing the blush on her face, but misunderstanding it, knowing she was a huge fan. “Mom - have you met…….?”
“Yeah, we’ve met.” Jon grinned, covering for Billie before she could speak. “I was talking with your mom outside when Richie came to find us. Good to see you looking better, Jay.”
“Feel like I got hit with a Mack truck.” The youngster admitted, gingerly rocking his head back and forth. “But the doc said we won?”
“Jay!” Billie blurted, shocked that his instant thought was of the game, but both Jon and Richie laughed at his enthusiasm.
“Oh, yeah. We won.” Richie smirked. “Dallas ate shit, buddy.” He flashed a glance at Billie. “Sorry, ma’am.”
“Ma’am?” Billie echoed, then shook her head. “My name’s Billie.”
“Okay, Billie.” Richie nodded, and she could see in his eyes that there was a mild acceptance of what she and Jon were working through right now. Could see that this guy would protect his friend no matter what. Which might be useful, since at the moment she was trying to protect Jon from himself.
“We should leave you two alone.” Jon said softly, slapping Jay’s foot through the blanket. “Get well, son - Graz came off the bench to kick Dallas’ asses, but we need you out there, Jay.”
Billie had blanched when he said ‘son’, but the way it was said left Jay to believe that it was no more an endearment than the usual ‘buddy’ or ‘boy’, accepting the word at face value. Jon nodded politely to Billie as he backed away from the bed.
“I’ll maybe see you around…..Billie. Nice talking with you.”
“You too, Jon.” She said, her eyes thanking him more than she could in words right now.
With waves and grins, the two rockstars left the hospital room, Billie gazing after them - after Jon - for a moment before returning her attention to her son, perturbed by the penetrating gaze of his blue eyes.
“What?” Billie said a little uncomfortably. The bright blue of his eyes was too close to Jon’s right now.
“Nothing, mom.” He smirked. Damn if the smirk wasn’t his father’s, too, she thought. “I’m just surprised is all.”
“Why?”
“All my life, you’ve been this massive Bon Jovi fan, but now you meet them - him - and it’s like no big deal. What gives?”
“What gives…..” She looked right into those eyes, praying he wasn’t able to read her as easily as his father could. “…..is that right now I’m more worried about you. Maybe this was the perfect time for me to meet Jon again - I’m too concerned about you to be nervous of it.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you knew him already.” Jay said with a tiny frown.
“Huh?!” Billie’s panic flared, but quickly subsided as he continued with an embarrassed smile.
“When I came up here, for the tryouts, I kinda, well, stole a photograph of yours, mom.”
“A photograph?”
“Yeah. I found it in the loft one day - it was of you and him - Jon - years ago. You’d never mentioned meeting him.”
“I hadn’t? I probably had, but you just didn’t remember.” Billie mentally crossed her fingers, then tried to divert his thoughts. “And why did you steal the photograph?”
“Well, I knew you were a really big fan, and when I found the photo I thought it’d be cool to get him to sign it, if he was at the tryouts.”
Billie looked away, realising now how Jon had found out, and wondering how in the hell he’d managed to keep his composure when he realised the teenager in front of him was his flesh and blood. Wondering even more how he’d managed to keep the knowledge - or at least the strong suspicion - to himself for these months since Jay had joined the team. Beginning to get just a little angry now at his holier-than-thou attitude over her keeping the secret when, apparently, he’d been doing just that for months.
She swallowed the irritation, though. Who was being holier-than-thou, now? She smiled at her son, unbelievably glad to see his eyes clear and bright, absolutely no signs of any kind of lasting trauma from the injury. Jay grinned at her, then his smile faltered as tears welled in her eyes.
“Mom?” He reached for her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She smiled bravely, moving across to hug him tightly. “I was just so worried, baby. So worried you wouldn’t wake up.”
“Aw, mom!” Jay wrapped an arm over her - the arm that wasn’t attached to an IV - and hugged her close.
After a moment, though, Billie straightened away from him. All his life, Jay had never doubted she loved him, but she wasn’t a hugely touchy-feely mom - and because of it her hugs meant more than his school buddies whose moms were always hugging and kissing and fussing. His mom had made him self-reliant, yet she’d never made him feel unloved - a rare skill, he realised as he grew older, and a skill he blessed her for every day, because it had made him the man he was becoming.
Billie looked at him, gently brushing his hair back from his face, and when Jay gave her that familiar smirk again, she leaned down, hugging him once more. He laid his arm over her, returning the embrace, and Billie was bent over the bed when they heard an exaggerated cough from over by the door.
“Uh, is this a bad time?” Came a voice Jay recognised, a hint of a laugh lurking there. “Should I leave you two to…..”
Straightening away from her son, Billie turned with an embarrassed half-smile, turning to face the dark haired, dark eyed man standing by the door holding a bundle of envelopes. From the way his eyes suddenly flicked upward, she had a pretty good idea he’d been staring at her denim-clad ass.
“Nick!” Jay said with a grin, reaching out a hand, and the guy walked across with an apologetic smile to Billie, taking the younger guy’s hand in a strong grip.
“How you doin’, kid?” He asked, looking at Jay with a professional eye. “You’re lookin’ good.”
“I feel it.” Jay nodded, and Nick chuckled, glancing at Billie.
“Hey, I’d feel pretty good if I had a pretty lady like this holding me.”
Jay’s eyes clouded, turning that stormy blue Billie had seen in Jon’s eyes earlier. A deep color that heralded anger, and the clenched jaw was another hint of his father. She stepped forward, holding out a hand and speaking, defusing the situation before her son lost his temper.
“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Billie - Jay’s mother.”
“His……?” Nick looked from Billie to Jay, seeing the nod. Also seeing the tense line of the player’s jaw. “Sorry. I just assumed……”
“It’s okay.” Billie smiled, a cautioning glance thrown at Jay. “I guess I should be flattered. Sorry, you’re……..”
Jay remembered his manners, gesturing from one to the other.
“Sorry. Mom, this is Nick. Nick Fabian, our team physiotherapist. Nick, my mom, Billie Kelsall.”
“Nice to meet you.” Nick said, taking Billie’s hand, his fingers lingering on hers a millisecond longer than necessary, both of them aware of the tingle of electricity.
Of course, Nick was also aware of the fact that Jay’s father was never mentioned, never named in any of his files, so he was pretty sure the lady in front of him was there for the taking. And he was never a man to stand idly by when an attractive woman was there for the taking. Taking, of course, was his main interest. Keeping, well, that was something entirely different. Something other guys did.
Chapter 9
Jon stared at Billie a moment longer, then turned to the door, looking for all the world as though he intended to go make that call right now.
He’d only just pulled the door open, though, when Billie’s hand slammed against it, shutting it firmly, and it was her turn to lean against the panel, blocking his exit.
“Dammit, Jon, will you think about what you’re saying?” She pleaded, her back against the door, both hands raised in a ‘wait’ gesture.
“I know exactly what I’m saying. I’m saying he’s my son and I won’t shirk that responsibility.” Jon replied, reaching for the door handle, trying to pull the door open against her weight.
Billie leaned harder on the panel, fighting his pull, Jon discovering she still had that wiry strength he remembered so well, years of working with large animals teaching her how to use her weight - such as it was - to best advantage.
“Jon, listen to me!”
The tone of Billie’s voice finally got through to him. This wasn’t anger, or fear. It was something else. It was compassion, and that realisation made him stop, made him look at her properly, seeing the begging in her eyes. He exhaled harshly, but took his hand off the door, stepping back slightly.
“Okay - I’m listening.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, waiting.
“Thank you.” Billie murmured, straightening up against the door, her dark eyes trying to convince him of her sincerity. “Now will you just think about what you’re saying, Jon? I mean really think about it. Get past this whole ‘my dick did that’ thing and actually think.”
“What d’you mean?” He asked, frowning.
“I mean you’re acting like a kid, Jon. Acting like the young man I met all those years ago. But what you’re not doing is acting like an adult. Like a very married adult with four beautiful children. Okay, five.” She corrected herself before he could, acknowledging in that one word his rightful place as Jay’s father.
“Yes, five.” Jon repeated, his own eyes taking on a pleading light. “And I want to be a part of his life, Billie. I know it’s late - and I’m not even sure why you kept him from me - but I want to be in my son’s life now that I know about him.”
“Shit. I know you do, Jon. Hell, even if I didn’t understand that when we were together for those few days, if I didn’t understand then that you take your……your responsibilities very seriously, I’ve been enough of a fan since then to see how you’ve been with your wife and kids, how you protect them and keep them out of the media as much as you can.” Billie sighed. “And that’s why I don’t think you’re thinking straight about this. You know how much this would hurt your wife, if she found out.”
Jon looked at her closely, seeing the truth there, and seeing something more, something that ripped at his heart. He finally understood why Billie had kept Jay from him for all this time. It wasn’t shame. It wasn’t embarrassment, or fear that he’d take her son - their son - from her. It was love. Love for him, and in a way love for his wife and family, that she’d walk through hell before she’d cause hurt to any one of them.
“Shit.” He whispered, running both hands into his hair and backing away slowly, resting his butt on the white porcelain of the wash basin, looking at her helplessly. “Shit!”
“Yeah.” Billie murmured, knowing he’d just figured out what she’d done - what she was still trying to do. Figured out she was trying to protect him from his youthful indiscretion.
“Isn’t life a bitch?” Jon said, a half-strength grin playing on his lips.
“You have no idea.” Billie smiled back, moving away from the door to flip down the toilet lid, perching on the edge as she looked at him.
They just looked at each other for the longest moment, then Jon let his head fall forward as he thought. Billie just waited, and after a few minutes Jon lifted his gaze to look at her once more, his grin crooked and just a little sad.
“Okay.” He said softly. “Okay. I still want to be a part of his life, Billie. I still want to acknowledge that he’s my son, but we’ll do it on your terms.”
“My terms were that you don’t make this public, that you don’t break your wife’s heart and make your children hate you.” She pointed out, but Jon shook his head.
“Billie, please. Don’t make this into a fight.” He wasn’t threatening. He wasn’t begging. It was a simple statement, and after scouring his face she nodded slowly, Jon smiling his thanks before he continued speaking. “Let’s take it one step at a time. Baby steps, right?”
“Baby steps are good.”
“Uh-huh.” Jon fought back the sudden tearing in his heart as he thought how he’d missed all of Jay’s baby steps. All his childhood. “Dorothea is over in Europe right now with Steph. Sorry, Steph’s my…..” He paused, shaking his head. “You said you’ve been a fan, so I’m guessing you know just who Steph is.”
“Uh, yeah.” Billie blushed. “I started listening to your music after I found out who you were. At first, it was just curiousity - to find out what the big deal was - but I fell in love with it. Of course, you ripped my heart out even then.”
“How?”
“With memories.” Billie smiled, explaining. “First record of yours I bought was Keep The Faith. Track seven.”
Jon thought about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what she meant. The record had been so long ago, he couldn’t honestly say which song was which track on the released version - they didn’t work them in any kind of order, and usually left a lot of the final track order to the trusted mind of Obie. He shook his head helplessly, and Billie smiled at his confused expression.
“Dry County.”
“Aw, shit. Of course.” The memory that came to him was as clear as if it had been yesterday. Sitting on Billie’s couch in just his jeans, her comment about the area being a dry county and his resultant explosion of inspiration. Writing the song, crafting the lyric and the melody while she watched and listened silently - that rare kind of woman who didn’t feel the need to talk constantly - then his fears over whether the song would ever be anything more than a few sheets of crumpled paper, of whether the band - his band - would ever exist again. “I thought of you, every day we worked on recording that song.”
“You did?” Her face brightened, the happiness quickly hidden as she tried to cover herself.
“Uh-huh.” Jon grinned, that soft-edged grin she remembered so well. Usually remembered from right after she’d blown him.
It wasn’t like she’d been any kind of nun since the days with Jon. Of course, for a year or so she’d been celibate - pregnancy kind of ruined any chance of male interest in a small town like hers - but she’d been in and out of a few relationships. One of the guys, when they parted their ways after a few years of living together, had accused her of still holding a torch for Jay’s father, and she hadn’t honestly been able to refute the allegation. She’d never had any illusions of getting back together with Jon - it had been a fling, nothing more and nothing less, and as soon as she’d found out he was a married man, well, that was the end of it, in Billie’s mind. She may be a lot of things - she may even be the cold, hard bitch that one guy had accused her of - but she wasn’t a homewrecker.
“I still remember finding you out at the lookout.” Billie smiled. “That night you were planning on becoming coyote food.”
Jon laughed. “Back then, I wasn’t planning much of anything, Billie. Hell, you know that. I could plan about as far as my next breath, and that was it.”
“But you got better.” She pointed out. “And - if I was any tiny part of helping with that, then I’m glad I found you.”
“I’m glad you found me, too. And you were a big part of helping me with that.” Jon assured her, then allowed himself to share another little secret, knowing they - like he and Richie - had enough secrets between them already. “I still dream about you, sometimes.” He offered.
“You do?” Billie knew he often invaded her dreams, but hadn’t imagined the phenomenon was shared.
“Yeah. I see you sometimes, on that riverbank. You remember that day? You’re standing in the sunlight, buck naked but for your…….”
“….cowboy hat.” She finished, smiling. “I remember.”
“And do you remember one of the last things I said to you? I thanked you for….”
“Vaguely.” Billie admitted, her memories of that day hazed with sadness, then her mouth fell open and she stared at him silently as Jon nodded.
“Yeah. You did put the boy back in cowboy, Billie. I guess that line always stuck in my head, and our ‘country record’ was the perfect place for it.”
“Oh, my God!” Billie said in shock. “I never……”
Her voice broke off as they became aware of other voices. Two of them, in the outer room, and looked at each other in near panic. Kind of hard to explain to anyone why the patient’s mother and his boss were closeted together in the bathroom. Moments later, though, their worry was allayed as there was a soft tap on the door, followed by an equally soft voice.
“Kidd? You in there?” Richie’s voice.
“Yeah, bro.” Jon replied quietly. “What’s up?”
“Can I….?” Richie didn’t bother to finish - or to wait - just pushing the door open and peering in, seeing them sitting in a far friendlier way than when he’d left them. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Jon said, looking over at his friend. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Richie’s grin beamed out, and his eyes flickered from one to the other as he spoke. “There’s somebody out here wondering where his mom is.”
Billie didn’t say a word, just grinning and jumping to her feet. Jon stood, too, and he laid a gentle hand on Billie’s arm, halting her for just a moment.
“To be continued?” He said, letting her know he’d keep his mouth shut around Jay. For now.
Billie nodded her thanks. “To be continued. Thank you.”
Richie stepped aside, his eyes on Jon as Billie rushed past, going to her son. A quirk of the eyebrows was all the question he asked, and Jon nodded with a smile.
“We’re talking.” He shrugged. “We’ll work it out.”
He’d only just pulled the door open, though, when Billie’s hand slammed against it, shutting it firmly, and it was her turn to lean against the panel, blocking his exit.
“Dammit, Jon, will you think about what you’re saying?” She pleaded, her back against the door, both hands raised in a ‘wait’ gesture.
“I know exactly what I’m saying. I’m saying he’s my son and I won’t shirk that responsibility.” Jon replied, reaching for the door handle, trying to pull the door open against her weight.
Billie leaned harder on the panel, fighting his pull, Jon discovering she still had that wiry strength he remembered so well, years of working with large animals teaching her how to use her weight - such as it was - to best advantage.
“Jon, listen to me!”
The tone of Billie’s voice finally got through to him. This wasn’t anger, or fear. It was something else. It was compassion, and that realisation made him stop, made him look at her properly, seeing the begging in her eyes. He exhaled harshly, but took his hand off the door, stepping back slightly.
“Okay - I’m listening.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, waiting.
“Thank you.” Billie murmured, straightening up against the door, her dark eyes trying to convince him of her sincerity. “Now will you just think about what you’re saying, Jon? I mean really think about it. Get past this whole ‘my dick did that’ thing and actually think.”
“What d’you mean?” He asked, frowning.
“I mean you’re acting like a kid, Jon. Acting like the young man I met all those years ago. But what you’re not doing is acting like an adult. Like a very married adult with four beautiful children. Okay, five.” She corrected herself before he could, acknowledging in that one word his rightful place as Jay’s father.
“Yes, five.” Jon repeated, his own eyes taking on a pleading light. “And I want to be a part of his life, Billie. I know it’s late - and I’m not even sure why you kept him from me - but I want to be in my son’s life now that I know about him.”
“Shit. I know you do, Jon. Hell, even if I didn’t understand that when we were together for those few days, if I didn’t understand then that you take your……your responsibilities very seriously, I’ve been enough of a fan since then to see how you’ve been with your wife and kids, how you protect them and keep them out of the media as much as you can.” Billie sighed. “And that’s why I don’t think you’re thinking straight about this. You know how much this would hurt your wife, if she found out.”
Jon looked at her closely, seeing the truth there, and seeing something more, something that ripped at his heart. He finally understood why Billie had kept Jay from him for all this time. It wasn’t shame. It wasn’t embarrassment, or fear that he’d take her son - their son - from her. It was love. Love for him, and in a way love for his wife and family, that she’d walk through hell before she’d cause hurt to any one of them.
“Shit.” He whispered, running both hands into his hair and backing away slowly, resting his butt on the white porcelain of the wash basin, looking at her helplessly. “Shit!”
“Yeah.” Billie murmured, knowing he’d just figured out what she’d done - what she was still trying to do. Figured out she was trying to protect him from his youthful indiscretion.
“Isn’t life a bitch?” Jon said, a half-strength grin playing on his lips.
“You have no idea.” Billie smiled back, moving away from the door to flip down the toilet lid, perching on the edge as she looked at him.
They just looked at each other for the longest moment, then Jon let his head fall forward as he thought. Billie just waited, and after a few minutes Jon lifted his gaze to look at her once more, his grin crooked and just a little sad.
“Okay.” He said softly. “Okay. I still want to be a part of his life, Billie. I still want to acknowledge that he’s my son, but we’ll do it on your terms.”
“My terms were that you don’t make this public, that you don’t break your wife’s heart and make your children hate you.” She pointed out, but Jon shook his head.
“Billie, please. Don’t make this into a fight.” He wasn’t threatening. He wasn’t begging. It was a simple statement, and after scouring his face she nodded slowly, Jon smiling his thanks before he continued speaking. “Let’s take it one step at a time. Baby steps, right?”
“Baby steps are good.”
“Uh-huh.” Jon fought back the sudden tearing in his heart as he thought how he’d missed all of Jay’s baby steps. All his childhood. “Dorothea is over in Europe right now with Steph. Sorry, Steph’s my…..” He paused, shaking his head. “You said you’ve been a fan, so I’m guessing you know just who Steph is.”
“Uh, yeah.” Billie blushed. “I started listening to your music after I found out who you were. At first, it was just curiousity - to find out what the big deal was - but I fell in love with it. Of course, you ripped my heart out even then.”
“How?”
“With memories.” Billie smiled, explaining. “First record of yours I bought was Keep The Faith. Track seven.”
Jon thought about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what she meant. The record had been so long ago, he couldn’t honestly say which song was which track on the released version - they didn’t work them in any kind of order, and usually left a lot of the final track order to the trusted mind of Obie. He shook his head helplessly, and Billie smiled at his confused expression.
“Dry County.”
“Aw, shit. Of course.” The memory that came to him was as clear as if it had been yesterday. Sitting on Billie’s couch in just his jeans, her comment about the area being a dry county and his resultant explosion of inspiration. Writing the song, crafting the lyric and the melody while she watched and listened silently - that rare kind of woman who didn’t feel the need to talk constantly - then his fears over whether the song would ever be anything more than a few sheets of crumpled paper, of whether the band - his band - would ever exist again. “I thought of you, every day we worked on recording that song.”
“You did?” Her face brightened, the happiness quickly hidden as she tried to cover herself.
“Uh-huh.” Jon grinned, that soft-edged grin she remembered so well. Usually remembered from right after she’d blown him.
It wasn’t like she’d been any kind of nun since the days with Jon. Of course, for a year or so she’d been celibate - pregnancy kind of ruined any chance of male interest in a small town like hers - but she’d been in and out of a few relationships. One of the guys, when they parted their ways after a few years of living together, had accused her of still holding a torch for Jay’s father, and she hadn’t honestly been able to refute the allegation. She’d never had any illusions of getting back together with Jon - it had been a fling, nothing more and nothing less, and as soon as she’d found out he was a married man, well, that was the end of it, in Billie’s mind. She may be a lot of things - she may even be the cold, hard bitch that one guy had accused her of - but she wasn’t a homewrecker.
“I still remember finding you out at the lookout.” Billie smiled. “That night you were planning on becoming coyote food.”
Jon laughed. “Back then, I wasn’t planning much of anything, Billie. Hell, you know that. I could plan about as far as my next breath, and that was it.”
“But you got better.” She pointed out. “And - if I was any tiny part of helping with that, then I’m glad I found you.”
“I’m glad you found me, too. And you were a big part of helping me with that.” Jon assured her, then allowed himself to share another little secret, knowing they - like he and Richie - had enough secrets between them already. “I still dream about you, sometimes.” He offered.
“You do?” Billie knew he often invaded her dreams, but hadn’t imagined the phenomenon was shared.
“Yeah. I see you sometimes, on that riverbank. You remember that day? You’re standing in the sunlight, buck naked but for your…….”
“….cowboy hat.” She finished, smiling. “I remember.”
“And do you remember one of the last things I said to you? I thanked you for….”
“Vaguely.” Billie admitted, her memories of that day hazed with sadness, then her mouth fell open and she stared at him silently as Jon nodded.
“Yeah. You did put the boy back in cowboy, Billie. I guess that line always stuck in my head, and our ‘country record’ was the perfect place for it.”
“Oh, my God!” Billie said in shock. “I never……”
Her voice broke off as they became aware of other voices. Two of them, in the outer room, and looked at each other in near panic. Kind of hard to explain to anyone why the patient’s mother and his boss were closeted together in the bathroom. Moments later, though, their worry was allayed as there was a soft tap on the door, followed by an equally soft voice.
“Kidd? You in there?” Richie’s voice.
“Yeah, bro.” Jon replied quietly. “What’s up?”
“Can I….?” Richie didn’t bother to finish - or to wait - just pushing the door open and peering in, seeing them sitting in a far friendlier way than when he’d left them. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Jon said, looking over at his friend. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Richie’s grin beamed out, and his eyes flickered from one to the other as he spoke. “There’s somebody out here wondering where his mom is.”
Billie didn’t say a word, just grinning and jumping to her feet. Jon stood, too, and he laid a gentle hand on Billie’s arm, halting her for just a moment.
“To be continued?” He said, letting her know he’d keep his mouth shut around Jay. For now.
Billie nodded her thanks. “To be continued. Thank you.”
Richie stepped aside, his eyes on Jon as Billie rushed past, going to her son. A quirk of the eyebrows was all the question he asked, and Jon nodded with a smile.
“We’re talking.” He shrugged. “We’ll work it out.”
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