Chapter 18

Sipping the last of her coffee, Billie shook her head suddenly, smiling at some private thought, and Jon had to ask. Hell, not like he’d often - make that ever - been accused of subtlety.

“What?” He asked, smiling at her. “What are you thinking?”

“Hmmm?” Billie had forgotten his innate talent for seeming to read her mind, his ability to know what she was thinking even when they’d only been together so briefly. “I was just thinking that it’s weird.”

“What is?”

“This. Us. The way we seem to have managed to talk about this without it turning into a screaming match. The way - even after being a fan of yours for nearly twenty years - the way I feel comfortable around you.”

“Yeah, well, I guess you’ve seen me at my very worst, haven’t you? After the way we met, not exactly like you can see me as some awe-inspiring rockstar sex god, is it?” He chuckled with her as Billie laughed at that, then his smile turned gentle. “Besides, the feisty cowgirl I met wasn’t impressed by anybody.”

She grinned at the compliment, getting slowly to her feet and reaching to take his empty mug from his hand.

“Do you want anything else? Or do you have to leave? You need to get back to the kids, right?”

“I’m okay for a while.” Jon said, glancing at his watch. “Got any wine?”

“Of course. Red or……..” She blushed. “Pinot?”

Jon laughed at her embarrassment. “I forget how much the fans know! And, yeah, pinot would be great, Billie.”

She disappeared off to the kitchen, willing her face to stop burning, and while she was gone Jon got to his feet, walking across to look at the single photograph on the mantel, a beautiful picture of Billie and Jay, pressed tightly together, clearly a very close mother-son bond. It felt strange, looking at a photograph of someone who so closely resembled himself, but wasn’t. So far, none of his boys had taken so heavily after him, though of course they were much younger than Jay, and Jon could only wonder how on earth nobody had caught the resemblance.

“I love that picture.” Billie said from behind him, bare feet silent on the floor, and Jon turned slowly to take the glass she offered.

“It’s gorgeous.” He agreed, glancing at it again. “It’s weird, though - I look at that, at him, and I wonder how in the hell nobody sees the similarity.” He frowned suddenly. “Or am I just seeing what I want to see?”

“Nope.” Billie traced a fingertip on the photograph, outlining Jay’s jawline. “I see a lot of you in him. More and more as he gets older. His eyes, his jaw. His hair, before he got serious about football and had it cropped short.” Her voice lowered, her eyes flicking unbidden to Jon’s mouth. “His lips.”

“I thought maybe it was just me.” Jon said softly, almost talking to himself. “He does look like I did back then, though, doesn’t he?”

“Uh-huh. He - lucky boy - took his looks from his father. If Kadie is anything to judge by, he got your charm, too.”

Jon rolled his eyes. Talk of his so-called irresistible charms was almost as annoying as talk about his hair, and Billie narrowed her eyes.

“Hey! You charmed me pretty damned easily.” She reminded him. “And you weren’t even trying to. You can’t help it! Jay gets that from you.”

“So what does he get from you then?” Jon challenged her, and Billie smirked.

“That would be the feisty and the stubborn and the right hook. Not so sure where he gets the temper from.”

“Must be from you, ‘cause I don’t lose my temper.” Jon said virtuously.

“No?” Billie shook her head. “So who exactly was it grabbed me and dragged me into the bathroom back at the hospital? Felt like I was being dragged to the principal’s office!”

“Okay, I only lose my temper - a little - if I’m provoked.” He hedged, and Billie giggled.

“I’m just as bad. You were lucky - you weren’t around long enough to ever see my temper, Jon. I don’t lose it often, but when I do…….” She laughed again. “Let’s just say Jay has only seen it once, when he did something very stupid, and he slept on his front for two nights.”

“What did he do?” Jon had to know what would anger Billie so much.

“Ummm…….he and his friend Josh ‘borrowed’ my twenty-two to hunt rabbits and damn nearly shot my neighbor Jace instead.”

“Shit! Really?”

“Mmm.” Billie sipped wine. “I think, really, I was more frightened than angry. Back then, Jay never walked anywhere - everything was at a dead run.” She shivered suddenly. “And if he’d tripped with that rifle in his hands, it could’ve really been a dead run.”

“Jesus!” Jon gulped wine. He’d never been one to sip a drink, and Billie watched in amusement as he emptied the glass.

“More wine?” She teased, and he smiled slightly.

“Uh, yeah, if you have some.”

This time, he followed her to the kitchen, holding his glass as she refilled it, and this time he took a more polite sip as Billie fidgeted with the stem of her glass.

“I’m not trying to keep you away from him.” She said finally. “But do you think it would be a good idea if you stayed away from Jay at least until Dorothea knows?”

Jon hadn’t really thought of it, and he frowned in thought before nodding slowly.

“You’re probably right. Hell, Jay would start to wonder why in the hell I was so interested in his health - he looked surprised enough to see me at the hospital today.” He looked around the room suddenly, trying to remember the layout of doors in the apartment then giving up. “Will you be staying here when he gets out? How many bedrooms are there?”

“Just one bedroom.” Billie shrugged. “I’ll probably find a hotel nearby. I’ll need to stay around until we get all this sorted out.”

“Let me fix that up for you.” Jon said. “I’ll get Nikki - my assistant - to book you a hotel, okay?”

“You don’t…….”

“I know I don’t have to.” He interrupted, giving her that twisted, soft grin she remembered so well. The one he usually showed her after she’d blown him. “I want to, Billie. Please?”

“Okay. And thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Jon glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I should get going. Need to call a cab, though - I told my driver to leave.”

“Why?” Billie smirked. “In case you left here with a black eye?”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be it! Plus I didn’t know how long I’d be here. Didn’t entirely expect us to get things settled so easily I guess.”

“No sense being stupid about it, Jon. It happened a long time ago.” Billie shrugged. “And - for the record? I don’t regret it in the least. You may, but I don’t.”

“I don’t either!” Jon protested, confused that she’d even think that. Confused, and just a little hurt. “I don’t regret our time together, Billie!”

“That’s not what I meant. I just meant……..well, no matter how understanding your wife is, Jon, this is going to mess up your life in a big way. Your family, your friends, your kids……..the press…..”

“I don’t give a fuck about the press.” He said firmly. “Dorothea will either hate me or forgive me, and the kids will follow her lead I guess. I hope she does forgive me, but I meant what I said, Billie. I will acknowledge Jay as my son.”

“Even if it tears your family apart?”

“He’s my family, too.” Jon said stubbornly. “Richie knows, and he hasn’t turned against me.

“He’s not your wife, Jon.” Billie said carefully. “He’s not the person you’ve lived with all this time, fathered children from and loved for most of your lives. It’s not the same.”

Jon sighed. “I know, Billie. I know, but you won’t change my mind. Maybe Jay gets the stubborn from us both.”