Chapter 64

Leaving the hospital room, closing the door as the detectives moved closer to Billie, Richie tried to figure out if the way he was beginning - just beginning - to feel about Billie was wrong. He’d been trying to convince himself that his overwhelming desire to hurt Fabian was because Billie was a friend, but was that all it was? The tenderness he felt toward her said maybe not. It wasn’t the tender concern of a friend, and it certainly wasn’t the paternal way he adored Ava. It was…..it was different, he finally admitted to himself, but refused to allow the thought to go any further. She was hurt and damaged and quite likely just reaching out to someone she saw as a friend. And right now that was what she needed. What Richie wanted or needed would have to be put aside until he could understand it himself.

He sighed heavily. Why could life never be easy? But, deep inside, he knew that if life were easy it just wouldn’t hold the same value - just that some lives, like Billie’s, held a hell of a lot more value than, say, Nick-the-Prick’s.

Thinking of that jolted Richie out of his distracted thoughts, reminded him that he was supposed to be going in search of Jay, to make sure he was okay and also to keep him away while Billie talked with the police. On a hunch, knowing it’s where he’d find Jon in a similar situation, Richie walked to the fire exit door, pushing it open and walking into the stairwell.


After leaving the room, Jay had forced himself to hold his pace short of the flat-out run he wanted, just needing space and solitude right now. The closest thing he saw that offered either of those things was the stairwell he’d slammed into before, when he’d found out Jon was his father, and he pushed through the crash bar again, closing the door and making it down the first flight of stairs before dropping to sit on the bottom stair, his head in his hands.

A heave shook his body, and he leaned forward suddenly, retching, vomiting in disgust at the thoughts whirling through his mind. That single spasm of nausea seemed to clear a fraction of his brain, though, and he moved off the stair, to the floor, his back in the corner of the landing, his knees drawn up to his chest.

There were no tears, well maybe just a few, but it was the burning rage that had forced him from the room, the desperate need to find Fabian and take him apart piece by piece. Nausea was scalding his throat again, but it was just disgust, really, and he swallowed it back, searching for strength.

Seeing the strength in his mom reminded him that he had that same strength, and if he were honest with himself, he knew ‘the boss’ had that same kind of resilience. Kind of had to, to have survived so long in such a fickle business. Which meant that he, Jay, had it from both sides. All he had to do was find it, when all he wanted to do right now was find Desi and crawl into her arms. And never leave. For now, though, all he could do was lay his head on his arms, closing himself into his own little world.

His own little world didn’t last too long, but he felt far calmer by the time he heard the stairwell door open again, only lifting his head when he heard Richie’s familiar voice.

“How you doin’?” Richie asked, seeing the puddle of vomit on the floor and staying well clear.

“Okay.” Jay said softly, then his eyes widened in panic, but Richie spoke first, reassuring him.

“She’s fine. Cops arrived to take her statement, and I said I’d come find you.”

Slowly, his near-fifty-year-old joints less flexible than Jay’s, Richie lowered himself to sit on his butt on the hard floor, close to Jay but not ‘too’ close. He stretched his legs out in front of him, his boots just touching the bottom of the handrail as he crossed his ankles.

“I said I’d keep you away for a bit.” He explained. “Guess she doesn’t think you need to hear…..”

“Hell, I don’t think I want to hear any more.” Jay gave a twisted grin. A Jon grin, Richie thought absently. “I mean, I know waaay more about my mom’s…….private life……than most kids do. Not that I’m a kid, but….”

“Sure you are. You’re Billie’s kid. You’ll never be anything but her little boy, Jay.” He chuckled. “I’ll be fifty years old this year, and my mom still treats me like I’m twelve sometimes. My advice? Learn to live with it, because you’ll never quite convince her you’re all growed up.”

Jay looked at him for a moment, then laughed helplessly. “Well, shit.”


Up in the hospital room, the two detectives were just finishing up their last few questions to Billie. Both of them were experienced enough to have been involved with quite a few sex crimes, but Detective Kellogg had seen the flash of disgust on her partner’s face as Billie softly described what had been done to her, and she guessed that it was less the actual physical assault that was getting to him - though that was certainly bad enough - but more the apparent pleasure the attacker had taken in inflicting as much pain - as much damage - as he could. Unnoticed, tears trickled down Billie’s face as she forced her voice to remain strong and steady, trying desperately to keep emotion out of it, to just lay down the bare, brutal facts.

She’d reached almost the end of her story now, having skirted around exactly who Jay’s father was, just referring to him as ‘Jon’, but she knew she had to include it, to allow the detectives to fully understand the ‘blackmail’ aspect of the crime. Looking at Kellogg, Billie could see in the other woman’s eyes that she realised there was something more to come, something possibly shocking, and she leaned forward slightly, inviting Billie’s trust.

“…..and what else, Billie?” She said gently. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“Yes.” She whispered. God, this is the hardest part. For twenty years I’ve kept it secret. Twenty years! And now I’m going to tell someone who isn’t directly involved. Not Jon, not Jay, not even Richie, but a stranger. This will change everything. She steeled herself, though. And it’s better coming out this way than through that bastard, because you know he’ll spill it soon as he can, Billie!

“Go on.” Kellogg’s gentle encouragement, and Billie sighed.

“The reason Nick Fabian….” She made herself repeat the name. “…was blackmailing me, was he’d found out who my son’s father is.”

“Jon.”

“Yes. Jon.” Her eyes were stricken as she whispered it, just loud enough for them both to hear, just loud enough for the tape to pick up. “Bon Jovi. Jon Bon Jovi is Jay’s father.”