Chapter 56

Riding the elevator up to the apartment - if twenty four million dollars’ worth of Soho luxury could be classified as simply ‘an apartment’ - Jon tried to gather his thoughts. Unfortunately, the ride took less than a minute, so he was still stuck on the ‘how in the fuck do I tell the kids?’ part when the elevator doors slid open. He stood there, hesitant, for so long that the doors began to close again, and he shook himself from his thoughts with an effort, stepping forward and thrusting his hand between the doors so they opened again.

He stepped from the elevator, heading into the apartment and almost immediately hearing Dot call out from the living room, saying that they were in there.

“Great.” He muttered sourly. “Nothing like jumping straight into the lions’ den.”

But he knew it was for the best. May not be the most comfortable thing for him, but it was no doubt the best thing for the kids, in the long run. And that was what was important, right? That this was made easy - as easy at it could be - on the kids. His heart sinking with every slow step, Jon walked into the living room to find his wife sitting with their four children lined up on the opposite couch. With a tiny gesture, Dot invited him to sit beside her, to present at least the appearance of a united front in this.

“Hi guys.” He said softly as he sat down next to his wife, and four somewhat subdued voices replied with various versions of hello.

The kids looked troubled - even scared - and Jon gave them what he hoped was a reassuring smile as he clenched his hands together between his knees, forearms braced on his thighs as he leaned forward, facing them squarely. Drawing a deep breath to steady his nerves, but finding it didn’t help worth shit, Jon decided to just cowboy up - hell, even at this moment the phrase made him think of Billie - and get on with this.

“So I know you gotta be wondering why mom and I wanted to talk with you all like this.” He flicked a glance at Dot, seeing her patient expression as she let him do it himself. “And I guess there are two main reasons.”

“Are you getting divorced?” Stephanie interrupted, blurting out the words like they burned her tongue, looking stricken by her own outburst.

Jon gave her a tender smile and the tiniest nod.

“Yes, we are.” He said. Shit. Okay, that was the first bombshell, and the kids look……..okay, they actually look fairly cool about it. I guess, these days, it’s not such a big deal. “Your mom and I have decided to divorce…..but we both still love you guys just as much. It’s not anything any of you have done or…..”

“Dad - it’s cool.” That was Jesse, and Jon blinked in surprise at his eldest - shit, his second eldest! - son. “Most of the kids in my class, their parents are divorced.”

“Like dad said, we both still love all of you.” Dot put in. “And we’ll work everything out so you spend equal time with us both.”

Yeah, if they want to spend time with me when they hear about Jay. Jon thought sadly. That part went waaaay too easy - why do I get the feeling the next little bit of news won’t go down so well? Doesn’t matter that Dot has been fucking some other guy throughout our entire marriage - because I’d never tell the kids that - but they’ll hate me for cheating on her. For cheating that resulted in a half brother they never knew about. That I never knew about, dammit!

Pulling out of his thoughts, Jon realised the four kids were watching him closely, waiting expectantly for the next revelation. Bracing himself, he started to speak again.

“Okay, well, obviously that was the first thing I - we - wanted to tell you. The second…….” How the hell do I say this? “You all know Jay Kelsall, from the Soul, right?”

“Uh, yeah, dad.” Jesse again, rolling his eyes just like Jon himself did. And like Jay. “Our ‘junior’ quarterback? The one who got hurt? Sure we know him.” He swung a sneaky glance at his blushing sister. “Maybe not as well as some of us would like to, but we know who he is.”

“Oh, shut up, Jesse.” Stephanie muttered, blushing bright red. Oh, great, just what I need - my idiot brother telling dad I have a crush on the quarterback. Dad’ll never take me to another game!

“Yeah, okay Jess.” Dot interrupted firmly. “Enough.”

Shit, shit, shit! Dot was right - Steph has a crush on him…….on her brother! Half brother, anyway. Whatever…….

“Thing is………” Jon let his thoughts veer off at a slight tangent. “Well, you know mom and I have talked about what we always call my ‘grey summer’? When I took off on my bike, to try to get my head straight?”

Four slightly confused nods, and Jon could see them trying to figure out where the hell he was going with this.

“When I was gone on that ride, I stayed at a ranch for a week or so. Just me and the rancher, Billie.” He could see from their expressions they didn’t get it - probably partly because the name sounded like a guy’s name. Dammit all, but he was going to have to say the words. “Billie, by the way, is with an ‘ie’, not a ‘y’. Billie’s a woman.”

“No, Daddy!” Stephanie breathed, realisation hitting her first.

Well, it would, wouldn’t it? She was female and therefore more intuitive than the three boys put together. Of course, Jon was pretty sure her understanding was only as far as his infidelity. Never in a million years would she guess the whole truth.

“Billie and I…..we……y’know……” Yeah, kids, daddy was fucking her, in every conceivable place and position we could think of. No, Jonny, that’s probably not what they need to hear. “And, well…….aw, hell, there isn’t any easy way to say this. Billie’s name is Kelsall. Jay’s her son.” He looked Stephanie straight in the eyes, knowing she’d take this hardest. “He’s my son, too. He’s your half-brother.”