After their brief conversation, Richie and Jay had fallen silent again, each consumed with their own thoughts. The silence had been broken, though, by the incongruous sound of a little girl’s giggles, and as Jay looked around in confusion, Richie smiled.
“My phone.” He explained, pulling it from his pocket and answering it, silencing Ava’s laughter. “Yeah? Yeah. Uh, okay. I’ll come get you.”
Closing the phone, he stood. “I’ll be back. Your…..boss……just got here - I’ll go bring him down.” He smiled reassuringly. “Hang in there, buddy. Your mom’s tough.”
“I know.” Jay smiled bravely as Richie left the room.
His long stride eating up the distance, Richie headed for the doors. Jon’s quick-fire questions, answered with single words, had been to ask if Jay was there - yeah - and how he was holding up - okay. After that, when he said he needed to know what had happened, was when Richie said he’d come outside. That wasn’t an explanation he was willing to make in front of Jay.
He found Jon outside, dragging deeply on a cigarette as he waited, the obligatory sunglasses concealing his eyes, though Richie could read his worry in every line of his body.
“Hey bro.” He said softly.
“Richie? What in the hell happened?” Jon blurted, Richie’s reluctance to explain on the phone enough to raise his worry to near panic. It was even worse because he wasn’t entirely sure if he was simply worried about Billie, or it if was something more selfish, like worry that something might happen and he’d not get the chance to tell Jay how he felt, to tell him he was his son. That thought was followed by one that said why not? Why couldn’t he tell him even if Billie wasn’t around? Jon realised maybe the wine had affected him more than he’d thought. Right now, all that mattered was if Billie was okay. Right?
“Billie was assaulted.” Richie looked around, checking there was no-one in earshot before he continued. “She was beaten and raped, Jon. And worse.”
“Worse?” Jon didn’t get it, but his jaw was clenched tight as he fought to hold control at the information Richie had given him so far.
“Worse.” Richie repeated, trying to evade the penetrating blue of Jon’s gaze. “It…..he…..shit. A guy she’d been out with a couple times - I don’t know how, but he found out……he knows about Jay.”
Jon stared at him silently, not making the connection between Billie being assaulted - raped - ‘worse’, whatever the hell that meant - and his illegitimate son. Richie sighed, explaining reluctantly.
“He found out, Jon, and he told Billie he’d keep quiet. For a price.”
“He was blackmailing her?!” Jon’s voice rose incredulously. “Why didn’t she tell me? How did he even know she had the money to pay him off? Or did he expect her to come to me?”
“He didn’t want money. He wanted Billie.” Richie had to force the words out. “Wanted her as some kind of sex toy, to do anything he wanted. To whore herself for his fucking pleasure.”
“And she let him? For Jay?” Jon’s jaw was clenched again, a muscle working in his cheek.
“No, you stupid prick. She wasn’t protecting Jay. She was protecting you, Jonny. She said she was trying to give you time to explain to Dot and the kids. She didn’t want them reading about it in the papers, and so she did what he wanted. But tonight I guess she’d had time to think things through a bit more, and she told him to go to hell. She said she wasn’t doing it again.” His voice lowered. “He didn’t like it.”
“So he raped her? Beat her?” The vein at Jon’s temple was throbbing angrily as he spoke, then confusion hit him again. “And what do you mean ‘worse’? What the hell is worse than rape, Rich?”
“Aw, Jesus, Jon, what do you think I mean?” Richie snapped, his own revulsion at what had been done to Billie rising as bile in his throat, threatening to choke him if he didn’t get the words out. “Why do you think she’s in the fucking ER? Bastard raped her, then he turned her over and fucked her in the ass. Hurt her so bad she’s bleeding enough her heart stopped on the way here. The paramedic had to shock her to get her back.” His voice faded at the memory of watching that pale, bruised, bloodied body arching spastically under the jolt of electricity, the terror of those moments followed by the relief as her heartbeat resumed. He swallowed down the nausea and looked at Jon again, seeing him pale and silent, the cigarette fallen from numbed fingers.
“Jesus.” Jon mumbled, not knowing what else to say. “Sweet Jesus, Richie……”
When Richie left him alone, Jay hunched forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Staring at the floor, he tried to convince himself that Nick wasn’t enough of a bastard that he’d have hurt his mom, but deep inside he wasn’t so sure. He knew well enough that the guy’s nickname among the team was NTP - Nick-the-Prick - and he’d heard enough stories about him since he’d joined the Soul just months before. If he had been the one to hurt his mom……
“Jay?”
Kadie’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up, grateful for the distraction. When he saw the serious look on her face, though, he wasn’t so sure he was glad.
“Yeah?”
“Where’s Richie?” She asked, closing the door behind her, adding to Jay’s anxiety.
“Boss arrived. He went to bring him down here. What’s happened?”
Hesitantly, hating to be the one who had to tell him this, Kadie crossed to sit beside him on the couch, taking his hands in hers.
“Oh God.” Jay whispered. “No. Kadie, no!” His voice rose in panic.
“Baby, no.” She said swiftly. “She’s still fighting, Jay.” God, let that be true. Let them have dragged her back again from flatline What kind of fate would be cruel enough to rob Jay of his mom? Sadly, though, Kadie knew just how cruel life could be. But, please…..please not this time. Not this one.
“Thank God.”
“Jay, I need to……..the doctor - Doctor Riviello - asked me to tell you what I know so far.” She squeezed his hands. Hard. “This won’t be easy for you to hear, Jay.”
“Just tell me, dammit.” His voice was rough with emotion. “Please, Kadie. Don’t try to sugarcoat things - just tell me what’s wrong…….tell me how bad she is.” His composure broke, and his voice faded to a whisper. “Tell me she’ll be okay.”
“Oh Jesus, Jay, I wish I could, but I don’t know.” Kadie took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I don’t know exactly what’s happened, but the doctor they paged………?”
“This Doctor Riviello?”
“Uh-huh. He specialises in….” She pressed her lips together, searching for that professional detachment she’d been trained to employ. “His specialty is in sexual assault trauma, Jay.”
“What?!”
“Your mom was raped, Jay. Somebody beat her and raped her. She’s lost - losing - a lot of blood, Jay, and she…..her…..”
“Tell me!” He demanded, tears streaking his face as his hands clenched on hers, clinging to her. “Just fucking tell me! Please!” His voice cracked. “Please, Kadie!”
“Her heart stopped, Jay, just a few minutes ago. They’re doing everything they can, but…… you need to understand how serious this is. There’s a chance - a big chance - she won’t make it, Jay.”
“No.” He mumbled, his eyes huge with fear as he looked at her. Never before had he really thought about his mom being ‘mortal’, about her dying. She’d been the one constant in his life, and he couldn’t imagine his life without her there. “No! Dammit, Kadie! No! No!”
She didn’t say another word, just freed her hands from his and pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight as he clung to her, bewildered by how suddenly everything in his life seemed to be turning upside down, from getting hurt to finding Kadie to now the threat of losing his mom. He may be a grown man, but dammit she was his mom, and it was too soon……too soon to lose her……..
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