Chapter 10

Fortunately for all concerned, the door to Jay’s private bathroom was shielded from his view by a partly folded screen, so he didn’t realise Jon and his mother had both emerged from the bathroom. Jon and Richie gave the pair a few minutes, then entered the main part of the room as though they’d entered from outside.

“Hey!” Jon grinned, doing his best to hide the sentimental expression he was sure he had. “Look who’s awake! You gave us a scare, buddy.”

“Boss?” Jay pushed himself a little more upright, surprised to see Jon - and Richie - here to visit. He turned to Billie, seeing the blush on her face, but misunderstanding it, knowing she was a huge fan. “Mom - have you met…….?”

“Yeah, we’ve met.” Jon grinned, covering for Billie before she could speak. “I was talking with your mom outside when Richie came to find us. Good to see you looking better, Jay.”

“Feel like I got hit with a Mack truck.” The youngster admitted, gingerly rocking his head back and forth. “But the doc said we won?”

“Jay!” Billie blurted, shocked that his instant thought was of the game, but both Jon and Richie laughed at his enthusiasm.

“Oh, yeah. We won.” Richie smirked. “Dallas ate shit, buddy.” He flashed a glance at Billie. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“Ma’am?” Billie echoed, then shook her head. “My name’s Billie.”

“Okay, Billie.” Richie nodded, and she could see in his eyes that there was a mild acceptance of what she and Jon were working through right now. Could see that this guy would protect his friend no matter what. Which might be useful, since at the moment she was trying to protect Jon from himself.

“We should leave you two alone.” Jon said softly, slapping Jay’s foot through the blanket. “Get well, son - Graz came off the bench to kick Dallas’ asses, but we need you out there, Jay.”

Billie had blanched when he said ‘son’, but the way it was said left Jay to believe that it was no more an endearment than the usual ‘buddy’ or ‘boy’, accepting the word at face value. Jon nodded politely to Billie as he backed away from the bed.

“I’ll maybe see you around…..Billie. Nice talking with you.”

“You too, Jon.” She said, her eyes thanking him more than she could in words right now.

With waves and grins, the two rockstars left the hospital room, Billie gazing after them - after Jon - for a moment before returning her attention to her son, perturbed by the penetrating gaze of his blue eyes.

“What?” Billie said a little uncomfortably. The bright blue of his eyes was too close to Jon’s right now.

“Nothing, mom.” He smirked. Damn if the smirk wasn’t his father’s, too, she thought. “I’m just surprised is all.”

“Why?”

“All my life, you’ve been this massive Bon Jovi fan, but now you meet them - him - and it’s like no big deal. What gives?”

“What gives…..” She looked right into those eyes, praying he wasn’t able to read her as easily as his father could. “…..is that right now I’m more worried about you. Maybe this was the perfect time for me to meet Jon again - I’m too concerned about you to be nervous of it.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot you knew him already.” Jay said with a tiny frown.

“Huh?!” Billie’s panic flared, but quickly subsided as he continued with an embarrassed smile.

“When I came up here, for the tryouts, I kinda, well, stole a photograph of yours, mom.”

“A photograph?”

“Yeah. I found it in the loft one day - it was of you and him - Jon - years ago. You’d never mentioned meeting him.”

“I hadn’t? I probably had, but you just didn’t remember.” Billie mentally crossed her fingers, then tried to divert his thoughts. “And why did you steal the photograph?”

“Well, I knew you were a really big fan, and when I found the photo I thought it’d be cool to get him to sign it, if he was at the tryouts.”

Billie looked away, realising now how Jon had found out, and wondering how in the hell he’d managed to keep his composure when he realised the teenager in front of him was his flesh and blood. Wondering even more how he’d managed to keep the knowledge - or at least the strong suspicion - to himself for these months since Jay had joined the team. Beginning to get just a little angry now at his holier-than-thou attitude over her keeping the secret when, apparently, he’d been doing just that for months.

She swallowed the irritation, though. Who was being holier-than-thou, now? She smiled at her son, unbelievably glad to see his eyes clear and bright, absolutely no signs of any kind of lasting trauma from the injury. Jay grinned at her, then his smile faltered as tears welled in her eyes.

“Mom?” He reached for her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She smiled bravely, moving across to hug him tightly. “I was just so worried, baby. So worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

“Aw, mom!” Jay wrapped an arm over her - the arm that wasn’t attached to an IV - and hugged her close.

After a moment, though, Billie straightened away from him. All his life, Jay had never doubted she loved him, but she wasn’t a hugely touchy-feely mom - and because of it her hugs meant more than his school buddies whose moms were always hugging and kissing and fussing. His mom had made him self-reliant, yet she’d never made him feel unloved - a rare skill, he realised as he grew older, and a skill he blessed her for every day, because it had made him the man he was becoming.

Billie looked at him, gently brushing his hair back from his face, and when Jay gave her that familiar smirk again, she leaned down, hugging him once more. He laid his arm over her, returning the embrace, and Billie was bent over the bed when they heard an exaggerated cough from over by the door.

“Uh, is this a bad time?” Came a voice Jay recognised, a hint of a laugh lurking there. “Should I leave you two to…..”

Straightening away from her son, Billie turned with an embarrassed half-smile, turning to face the dark haired, dark eyed man standing by the door holding a bundle of envelopes. From the way his eyes suddenly flicked upward, she had a pretty good idea he’d been staring at her denim-clad ass.

“Nick!” Jay said with a grin, reaching out a hand, and the guy walked across with an apologetic smile to Billie, taking the younger guy’s hand in a strong grip.

“How you doin’, kid?” He asked, looking at Jay with a professional eye. “You’re lookin’ good.”

“I feel it.” Jay nodded, and Nick chuckled, glancing at Billie.

“Hey, I’d feel pretty good if I had a pretty lady like this holding me.”

Jay’s eyes clouded, turning that stormy blue Billie had seen in Jon’s eyes earlier. A deep color that heralded anger, and the clenched jaw was another hint of his father. She stepped forward, holding out a hand and speaking, defusing the situation before her son lost his temper.

“Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Billie - Jay’s mother.”

“His……?” Nick looked from Billie to Jay, seeing the nod. Also seeing the tense line of the player’s jaw. “Sorry. I just assumed……”

“It’s okay.” Billie smiled, a cautioning glance thrown at Jay. “I guess I should be flattered. Sorry, you’re……..”

Jay remembered his manners, gesturing from one to the other.

“Sorry. Mom, this is Nick. Nick Fabian, our team physiotherapist. Nick, my mom, Billie Kelsall.”

“Nice to meet you.” Nick said, taking Billie’s hand, his fingers lingering on hers a millisecond longer than necessary, both of them aware of the tingle of electricity.

Of course, Nick was also aware of the fact that Jay’s father was never mentioned, never named in any of his files, so he was pretty sure the lady in front of him was there for the taking. And he was never a man to stand idly by when an attractive woman was there for the taking. Taking, of course, was his main interest. Keeping, well, that was something entirely different. Something other guys did.

Chapter 9

Jon stared at Billie a moment longer, then turned to the door, looking for all the world as though he intended to go make that call right now.

He’d only just pulled the door open, though, when Billie’s hand slammed against it, shutting it firmly, and it was her turn to lean against the panel, blocking his exit.

“Dammit, Jon, will you think about what you’re saying?” She pleaded, her back against the door, both hands raised in a ‘wait’ gesture.

“I know exactly what I’m saying. I’m saying he’s my son and I won’t shirk that responsibility.” Jon replied, reaching for the door handle, trying to pull the door open against her weight.

Billie leaned harder on the panel, fighting his pull, Jon discovering she still had that wiry strength he remembered so well, years of working with large animals teaching her how to use her weight - such as it was - to best advantage.

“Jon, listen to me!”

The tone of Billie’s voice finally got through to him. This wasn’t anger, or fear. It was something else. It was compassion, and that realisation made him stop, made him look at her properly, seeing the begging in her eyes. He exhaled harshly, but took his hand off the door, stepping back slightly.

“Okay - I’m listening.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, waiting.

“Thank you.” Billie murmured, straightening up against the door, her dark eyes trying to convince him of her sincerity. “Now will you just think about what you’re saying, Jon? I mean really think about it. Get past this whole ‘my dick did that’ thing and actually think.”

“What d’you mean?” He asked, frowning.

“I mean you’re acting like a kid, Jon. Acting like the young man I met all those years ago. But what you’re not doing is acting like an adult. Like a very married adult with four beautiful children. Okay, five.” She corrected herself before he could, acknowledging in that one word his rightful place as Jay’s father.

“Yes, five.” Jon repeated, his own eyes taking on a pleading light. “And I want to be a part of his life, Billie. I know it’s late - and I’m not even sure why you kept him from me - but I want to be in my son’s life now that I know about him.”

“Shit. I know you do, Jon. Hell, even if I didn’t understand that when we were together for those few days, if I didn’t understand then that you take your……your responsibilities very seriously, I’ve been enough of a fan since then to see how you’ve been with your wife and kids, how you protect them and keep them out of the media as much as you can.” Billie sighed. “And that’s why I don’t think you’re thinking straight about this. You know how much this would hurt your wife, if she found out.”

Jon looked at her closely, seeing the truth there, and seeing something more, something that ripped at his heart. He finally understood why Billie had kept Jay from him for all this time. It wasn’t shame. It wasn’t embarrassment, or fear that he’d take her son - their son - from her. It was love. Love for him, and in a way love for his wife and family, that she’d walk through hell before she’d cause hurt to any one of them.

“Shit.” He whispered, running both hands into his hair and backing away slowly, resting his butt on the white porcelain of the wash basin, looking at her helplessly. “Shit!”

“Yeah.” Billie murmured, knowing he’d just figured out what she’d done - what she was still trying to do. Figured out she was trying to protect him from his youthful indiscretion.

“Isn’t life a bitch?” Jon said, a half-strength grin playing on his lips.

“You have no idea.” Billie smiled back, moving away from the door to flip down the toilet lid, perching on the edge as she looked at him.

They just looked at each other for the longest moment, then Jon let his head fall forward as he thought. Billie just waited, and after a few minutes Jon lifted his gaze to look at her once more, his grin crooked and just a little sad.

“Okay.” He said softly. “Okay. I still want to be a part of his life, Billie. I still want to acknowledge that he’s my son, but we’ll do it on your terms.”

“My terms were that you don’t make this public, that you don’t break your wife’s heart and make your children hate you.” She pointed out, but Jon shook his head.

“Billie, please. Don’t make this into a fight.” He wasn’t threatening. He wasn’t begging. It was a simple statement, and after scouring his face she nodded slowly, Jon smiling his thanks before he continued speaking. “Let’s take it one step at a time. Baby steps, right?”

“Baby steps are good.”

“Uh-huh.” Jon fought back the sudden tearing in his heart as he thought how he’d missed all of Jay’s baby steps. All his childhood. “Dorothea is over in Europe right now with Steph. Sorry, Steph’s my…..” He paused, shaking his head. “You said you’ve been a fan, so I’m guessing you know just who Steph is.”

“Uh, yeah.” Billie blushed. “I started listening to your music after I found out who you were. At first, it was just curiousity - to find out what the big deal was - but I fell in love with it. Of course, you ripped my heart out even then.”

“How?”

“With memories.” Billie smiled, explaining. “First record of yours I bought was Keep The Faith. Track seven.”

Jon thought about it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what she meant. The record had been so long ago, he couldn’t honestly say which song was which track on the released version - they didn’t work them in any kind of order, and usually left a lot of the final track order to the trusted mind of Obie. He shook his head helplessly, and Billie smiled at his confused expression.

“Dry County.”

“Aw, shit. Of course.” The memory that came to him was as clear as if it had been yesterday. Sitting on Billie’s couch in just his jeans, her comment about the area being a dry county and his resultant explosion of inspiration. Writing the song, crafting the lyric and the melody while she watched and listened silently - that rare kind of woman who didn’t feel the need to talk constantly - then his fears over whether the song would ever be anything more than a few sheets of crumpled paper, of whether the band - his band - would ever exist again. “I thought of you, every day we worked on recording that song.”

“You did?” Her face brightened, the happiness quickly hidden as she tried to cover herself.

“Uh-huh.” Jon grinned, that soft-edged grin she remembered so well. Usually remembered from right after she’d blown him.

It wasn’t like she’d been any kind of nun since the days with Jon. Of course, for a year or so she’d been celibate - pregnancy kind of ruined any chance of male interest in a small town like hers - but she’d been in and out of a few relationships. One of the guys, when they parted their ways after a few years of living together, had accused her of still holding a torch for Jay’s father, and she hadn’t honestly been able to refute the allegation. She’d never had any illusions of getting back together with Jon - it had been a fling, nothing more and nothing less, and as soon as she’d found out he was a married man, well, that was the end of it, in Billie’s mind. She may be a lot of things - she may even be the cold, hard bitch that one guy had accused her of - but she wasn’t a homewrecker.

“I still remember finding you out at the lookout.” Billie smiled. “That night you were planning on becoming coyote food.”

Jon laughed. “Back then, I wasn’t planning much of anything, Billie. Hell, you know that. I could plan about as far as my next breath, and that was it.”

“But you got better.” She pointed out. “And - if I was any tiny part of helping with that, then I’m glad I found you.”

“I’m glad you found me, too. And you were a big part of helping me with that.” Jon assured her, then allowed himself to share another little secret, knowing they - like he and Richie - had enough secrets between them already. “I still dream about you, sometimes.” He offered.

“You do?” Billie knew he often invaded her dreams, but hadn’t imagined the phenomenon was shared.

“Yeah. I see you sometimes, on that riverbank. You remember that day? You’re standing in the sunlight, buck naked but for your…….”

“….cowboy hat.” She finished, smiling. “I remember.”

“And do you remember one of the last things I said to you? I thanked you for….”

“Vaguely.” Billie admitted, her memories of that day hazed with sadness, then her mouth fell open and she stared at him silently as Jon nodded.

“Yeah. You did put the boy back in cowboy, Billie. I guess that line always stuck in my head, and our ‘country record’ was the perfect place for it.”

“Oh, my God!” Billie said in shock. “I never……”

Her voice broke off as they became aware of other voices. Two of them, in the outer room, and looked at each other in near panic. Kind of hard to explain to anyone why the patient’s mother and his boss were closeted together in the bathroom. Moments later, though, their worry was allayed as there was a soft tap on the door, followed by an equally soft voice.

“Kidd? You in there?” Richie’s voice.

“Yeah, bro.” Jon replied quietly. “What’s up?”

“Can I….?” Richie didn’t bother to finish - or to wait - just pushing the door open and peering in, seeing them sitting in a far friendlier way than when he’d left them. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Jon said, looking over at his friend. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Richie’s grin beamed out, and his eyes flickered from one to the other as he spoke. “There’s somebody out here wondering where his mom is.”

Billie didn’t say a word, just grinning and jumping to her feet. Jon stood, too, and he laid a gentle hand on Billie’s arm, halting her for just a moment.

“To be continued?” He said, letting her know he’d keep his mouth shut around Jay. For now.

Billie nodded her thanks. “To be continued. Thank you.”

Richie stepped aside, his eyes on Jon as Billie rushed past, going to her son. A quirk of the eyebrows was all the question he asked, and Jon nodded with a smile.

“We’re talking.” He shrugged. “We’ll work it out.”